With the rise of remarriage in this generation, blended families also became increasingly common. Like a standard family, blended families also have unique complexities to overcome to build a cohesive family unit. For instance, kids resent their parents or do not get along with their new step-siblings.
In this article, you’ll find all the challenges blended families face and the practical solutions to navigate those challenges. Ultimately, you’ll know the best tools to create a harmonious blended family unit.
Read more to learn how to approach blended family dynamics with patience and empathy.
Understanding the rise of blended families
Helen married Josh last August. They have one daughter from their previous marriage and now live together in Josh’s house. Helen has also married before and has one son from her previous marriage, who also lives with them.
Helen and Josh’s family is called a blended family, and it’s not rare. In the US alone, 63% of women in remarriages end in blended families.
Blended families refer to a family formed through a remarriage. They’re also often called the following:
- Stepfamilies
- Reconstituted families
- Remarried families
- Merged families, or
- Combined families
This family consists of two adults, the child or children they share biologically, and one or more children from previous partners or marriages.
Bringing two different families together leads to unique complexities and emotional challenges. If not properly handled, it can manifest in insecurity, jealousy, or even resentment.
Read more: Starting Over: The Art of Remarriage
Common challenges of creating a blended family
You can imagine the horrors of a child who has no idea of who they will be in this new family or the fear of step-parents struggling to connect with their stepchildren. This new dynamic and emotional strain can also create various responsibilities and challenges, such as:
Adjusting to new family roles
When the new blended family forms, adjusting to the new roles for each person, including parents and children, will be difficult. Stepparents may struggle to find their place in the family, while biological parents may struggle to balance their roles with their new partners.
The children will find this difficult, especially when connecting with their new siblings and navigating new dynamics. The complexities of two households may also make it difficult for them to adjust to it effectively.
This — combined with different parenting styles, family communication patterns, and routines or traditions — may further complicate the adjustment process.
Managing emotional resistance
Children from blended families may experience an emotional roller coaster. They might have loyalty conflicts between their parents and stepparents, resentment toward their parents, and even fear of change.
Conflicting emotional resistance is often expressed in various ways, such as acting out, withdrawing, or refusing to cooperate in the family, which can cause tension in the blended family.
Establishing shared traditions
Another challenge with blended families is merging traditions between two separate families.
Traditions carry a lot of emotional meaning. Balancing traditions you have known for a long time with new traditions your new family introduces can be tricky.
Old traditions may carry emotional meaning, such as memories of children with their other parents, who are no longer a part of their daily lives even though they are deeply treasured and loved. This may cause various ranges of emotions, such as nostalgia, comfort, or even grief.
This unique complexity is why balancing those traditions requires a delicate touch and understanding.
Practices for navigating blended family challenges
These family challenges are big hindrances to creating a harmonious, happy family. Thus, you must learn actionable scientific practices that help you solve those challenges.
To create and foster a happy blended family unit, follow these research-backed tips below.
Develop unified parenting strategies
One of the ways to solve the challenges of blended families is to develop unified parenting strategies.
This can be done by discussing expectations and rules between parents, eventually creating a consistent and supportive environment for the children. Unified discipline from both parents can help foster security and trust in children, which removes confusion.
You can have this by openly and honestly communicating with all family members. You may also consider having a regular family meeting to share concerns and strengthen family bonds.
Be patient with the adjustment process
Blending two separate families into one strong family will always take time, and that’s fine! What’s important is that you need patience and trust in the process. Some things that you could do:
- Schedule regular family time. These could be short and consistent activities that foster family bonding.
- Regularly do individual check-ins. Always keep up with all the family members to understand their needs and concerns.
- Don’t rush everything. Keep the trust and harmony as the new family develops over time.
Prioritize quality time together
Spending time with your family is one key to solving every problem. This quality time can be spent doing certain things.
- Outings. Family outings, such as camping together, lead to family bonding and may foster a strong bond.
- Activities. To strengthen the family bond, hold a gaming night or do hobbies together.
- Intimate time. One-on-one time with stepchildren can also foster trust and deepen the relationship, which is equally important as your relationship with your partner.
Seek professional support when needed
When you think the challenges in your blended family become too much for you, it’s okay to seek professional support.
There are signs that you can look for, such as:
- Conflicts that don’t resolve over time. These can be recurring conflicts, unresolved grievances, or even power struggles that could happen in the dynamics of blended families.
- Stress among family members. This can manifest and develop over time into anxiety, depression, and even some physical health problems such as headaches or weakened immune systems.
- Difficulty in communication. This often leads to frequent misunderstandings in the family, which eventually creates further conflict.
- Children exhibiting behavioral problems. Acting out in various ways leads to stress and instability in the home environment.
Blended family counseling and support groups can help you navigate this difficult transition.
A therapist or counselor specializing in family dynamics can help you by providing guidance, tools, or strategies you need and can use to navigate this transition.
In conclusion
Imagine two separate families that didn’t really have anything in common fused into one united unit — a big family with shared traditions, laughter in their halls, and joy all over their house. By tackling the challenges of blended families, your new family can become like this.
So take hold of your new lives and embrace the journey with an open heart. Try the practices mentioned above to grow as a family today!
If you would like to see more resources on remarriage, check out the Family Science Labs. The lab uses the research of the Institute for Life Management Science to produce courses, certifications, podcasts, videos, and other tools. Visit the Family Science Labs today.
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