In this podcast episode, Marie Stella and her guest, Kristen Qualls, discuss the impact of daily habits on relationships. They explore why certain habits have a lasting impact and discuss various aspects of relationships, focusing on fostering and maintaining a healthy and intimate connection with a partner.
Meet Kristen Qualls
Kristen is a seasoned counselor who is passionate about empowering couples on their journey toward self-discovery and emotional well-being. She has a wealth of experience and a compassionate approach that has made her a trusted guide for many individuals seeking support during challenging times.
Outside of her professional life, Kristen loves travel and scuba diving, finding joy in the transformative experiences that come from exploring new cultures and environments. However, her greatest love and dedication lie in spending quality time with her family and creating precious, lasting memories together.
About the episode
One aspect discussed in the podcast is the role of daily habits and routines in fostering bonding or causing conflict between partners. These habits, whether intimate or non-intimate, can have different effects depending on the compatibility of the individuals involved. Kristen highlights the significance of physical intimacy rituals in promoting feelings of safety, respect, and connection, particularly when the relationship is going well overall.
She says establishing intimacy rituals requires open communication about needs and preferences. Kristen acknowledges that people differ in various aspects, such as the way they wind down together before engaging in physical intimacy. Expressing desires and needs in a relationship can be challenging and requires vulnerability, which may be difficult for some individuals.
To enhance and maintain romance in a relationship, Kristen recommends making simple requests to negotiate quality time with one’s partner. These requests could include gestures like greetings after work or making tea. She emphasizes that small, thoughtful actions can keep romance alive by demonstrating care on a daily basis.
One important aspect of establishing a healthy couples’ routine is open communication. It’s crucial to have direct and open conversations about preferences, needs, and desires. Instead of making things complicated, it’s best to ask your partner simply and directly for what you want.
Scheduling quality time is another key tip. Couples should negotiate and establish dedicated time for quality bonding. This could include activities such as greeting each other after work, cooking meals together, or setting aside distraction-free evenings for focused connection.
Compromise is also essential. It’s important to recognize and accommodate each other’s socializing needs. While one partner may require immediate bonding upon returning home, the other might need some solo recharge time first. Finding a balance that works for both partners is crucial for a healthy routine.
She says that small thoughtful gestures can go a long way in a relationship. Showing care and consideration through small gestures that both partners agree upon can strengthen the bond. This could involve making a preferred drink, hugging, asking about each other’s days, or any other actions that meet each other’s preferences and build comfort.
More Kristen’s tips for establishing healthy couples’ routines:
- Express appreciation and affection: Freely express appreciation and affection through eye contact, physical touch, kissing, or words of affirmation. Make a conscious effort to create moments for mindful relaxation together.
- Daily check-ins: Start incorporating daily check-ins as a routine. Actively listen to each other and address any emerging issues or tensions through open communication before they escalate.
- Prioritize bonding: Treat bonding as highly as other responsibilities in your lives. Set ground rules to minimize distractions from phones, TV, or other devices during your quality time together.
- Practice mindfulness: Try practicing mindfulness and savoring the moments during shared routines. This can enhance closeness, satisfaction, and synchronization as a team.
In conclusion
In a nutshell, Kristen emphasizes that establishing healthy daily habits and intimacy routines requires continual effort from both partners in a relationship. Simple acts of communication, compromise, appreciation, and quality time lay the groundwork for bonding on a deeper level. She highlights the importance of negotiating needs, making everyday experiences meaningful through small gestures of care, and prioritizing connection above all else for sustaining long-term romance, passion, and overall relationship well-being.
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