Josh Gressel: How Admiring Others Change Your Behavior | Sero Boost #48

In this episode, host Lu Ngo is joined by Josh Gressel who is a clinical psychologist

Have you ever met someone who amazes you or how talented they are? That’s admiration. And guess what? You can use that admiration to change your behavior. Stay tuned as Josh Gressel shows you how to use admiration to become a better you in this episode.

Meet Josh Gressel

Josh Gressel is a clinical psychologist based in the San Francisco Bay area, where he has supported individuals since 1987. His current focus lies in assisting religious adults, aiding men in turning their work into their true calling, and guiding couples through their relationship challenges. Employing various therapeutic approaches, such as Imago therapy, sand tray therapy, and ketamine-assisted therapy, Josh brings a diverse toolkit to his practice to address each client’s unique needs.

In his book Embracing Envy: Finding the Spiritual Treasure in Our Most Shameful Emotion, Josh delves into the complex interplay between envy and admiration. Drawing from his experiences of envy toward writers, he explores the notion that these emotions exist on a continuum. According to Josh, envy arises when individuals feel insecure and fail to recognize their inherent worth, while admiration stems from a place of security and resonation with others. He emphasizes the importance of being able to admire without succumbing to envy, highlighting its transformative impact on personal growth and interpersonal relationships.

Beyond his clinical practice and writing endeavors, Josh is a passionate learner interested in spirituality and psychology. He reflects on his academic journey, which led him to pursue a degree in spirituality and psychology, and shares insights from his current studies on Jewish mysticism and the use of psychedelics in psychotherapy. Josh’s admiration for modest individuals who selflessly contribute without seeking recognition mirrors his values, and he finds inspiration in sources like The Daily podcast, demonstrating humility and appreciation for the simple joys of life.

About the episode

Josh Gressel, a psychologist, argues against the idea that happiness is the most important thing in life. Instead, he says you should focus on being whole, which means finding your purpose and living it fully. Josh says relationships shouldn’t just be about being happy but about growing yourself and feeling complete. This goes against what society often tells you: happiness is the most important goal.

He talks about admiration, saying it’s more than just liking someone. It’s when you see something good in others that you want for yourself. Admiration can make you change your behavior and become a better person. 

It’s like looking in a mirror and seeing qualities you wish you had. When you admire someone, it’s because you see something in them that you value in yourself. For example, you might admire a coworker’s hard work because you want to be more disciplined like them. 

However, don’t mistake admiration for envy. Envy is feeling bad because someone has something you don’t, which can stop you from growing. Josh says it’s essential to distinguish between admiring someone and feeling envious because envy can hinder your personal growth.

Josh believes personal growth is about discovering who you are and what’s important to you. It’s about learning new things and becoming the best version of yourself. Relationships that help you grow are valuable because they allow you to find happiness and feel complete.

Then, Josh discusses how admiration can be a tool for personal growth. Instead of admiring others, you should consider why you admire them and try to develop those qualities yourself. This way, you can actively work on becoming happier and more fulfilled.

In conclusion

Admiration profoundly impacts your behavior, shaping it in various ways. Leveraging admiration to enrich yourself can increase happiness and a more fulfilling existence. Are you curious about how to utilize admiration for personal growth? Be sure to catch this episode for valuable insights and guidance.

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