Are You a Good Friend: Evaluating the Give-and-Take in Your Friendships

Think about a deep and personal relationship that shapes your identity, values, and goals. It’s more than just a social interaction; it’s friendship. Can you think of a time when this dynamic and flexible relationship changed or grew over time and across situations?

Friendship is one of the most precious gifts that life can offer — a special bond that connects people with one another. It is a bond of mutual affection and respect that can provide you with companionship, support, and a sense of belonging.

This article will explore the essence and benefits of friendship and the difficulties and possibilities it entails in different settings and phases of life. Also, this article will discuss how to nurture and sustain lasting friendships that can enhance our lives and well-being.

But what makes a good friend? 

This is a question that has been asked for centuries. But no one answer will apply to everyone, as different people value different qualities in a friend. However, below are some general qualities that are widely considered to be important in a friendship:


A trustworthy friend is characterized by their reliability, honesty, loyalty, and supportiveness. They are someone with whom you can confide and who will always have your back.


An honest friend is someone truthful and sincere. They are someone you can trust to tell you the truth, even if it is not what you want to hear.


A loyal friend is someone who is faithful and devoted to you. They are someone who will always be there for you, no matter what.


A dependable friend can be counted on to fulfill their commitments.  You can always rely on them to show up when they say they will and do what they say they will do.


A supportive friend is there for you when you need them.  You can turn to them for emotional support, advice, and help.

In addition to these general qualities, some individual qualities may be more important to you in a friend. For example, you may value a friend who is funny, intelligent, or adventurous. Ultimately, the most important thing is finding a friend you connect with and who makes you feel good about yourself.

Friends: quality vs quantity

When it comes to friendship, do you think it’s more important to have a lot of friends or a few really close ones? It’s a personal preference, but research suggests that having high-quality friends who are reliable, truthful, faithful, and caring can have more benefits. They can help you cope with stress, loneliness, and illness and boost your self-esteem, happiness, and longevity. 

Having low-quality friends who are deceitful, unfaithful, self-centered, and inconsistent can have negative effects on mental and physical health. Therefore, having good friends is more important than having many friends. Quality over quantity may be the key to finding and keeping lasting friendships that can enrich our lives.

Read more: Why Low-Maintenance Friendships are High-Quality 

Benefits of friendship for your well-being

Friendship is a powerful force that can positively impact our physical and mental health, and it also plays a crucial role in promoting positive behaviors and habits. Here are some benefits of friendship:

Reduces stress and anxiety 

Friends can provide emotional support, companionship, and a sense of belonging. They can also help regulate emotions, buffer from negative events, and give constructive feedback and encouragement.

Improves self-esteem and well-being

Friends can help you feel accepted, valued, and loved. They can also motivate you to pursue your passions and dreams and help you develop your identity, values, and goals.

Read more: Benefits of Having Quality Time With Your Friend 

Promotes healthy behaviors and habits

Friends can encourage you to make healthy choices, such as eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep. They can also help avoid unhealthy behaviors, such as smoking, drinking too much alcohol, and using drugs.

Extends lifespan

Studies have shown that people who have strong social ties are more likely to live longer than those who are socially isolated. This may be because friends can provide social support, which can help someone cope with stress, manage emotions, and make healthy choices.

Common friendship mistakes to avoid

Friendship requires effort and care to sustain and deepen over time. However, common mistakes can be made that may harm or weaken these relationships.

Here are some of them and how to avoid them:

Taking your friends for granted

It’s easy to get caught up in your own lives and forget to show your friends how much you appreciate them. But it’s important to make time for them, express your gratitude, and celebrate their successes.

Not being honest and trustworthy

Friendship is built on trust. If you’re dishonest or untrustworthy, your friends will eventually lose faith in you. Be honest with your friends, even when it’s hard. And keep your promises.

Being jealous or competitive

It’s normal to feel a little jealous of your friends sometimes. But if you’re constantly comparing yourself to them, it will damage your friendship. Be happy for your friends’ successes and focus on your own journey.

Being judgmental or critical

Everyone makes mistakes. Be open-minded and accepting of your friends’ flaws. If you constantly judge or criticize your friends, they’ll eventually feel like you don’t accept them for who they are.

Not having fun

Make time for activities that you and your friends enjoy. Friendship should be enjoyable. Laugh together, cry together, and create memories that will last a lifetime.

In conclusion

Good friends who can love and support you are essential for your happiness and well-being. They are one of the greatest gifts in life. And to be a good friend, you have to be trustworthy, honest, and loyal, and you should avoid jealousy and being judgmental.

If you are fortunate enough to have good friends who provide companionship and a sense of belonging, cherish them. On the other hand, if you are seeking friends, be open to meeting new people and forming new connections.

If you would like to see more resources on friendships, check out the Happiness Science Labs. The lab uses the research of the Institute for Life Management Science to produce courses, certifications, podcasts, videos, and other tools. Visit the Happiness Science Labs today.

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Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko on Pexels

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