Allan N. Schwartz: Resentment — Unraveling Emotions and Mental Health Implications | Sero Boost #47

In this episode, host Lu Ngo is joined by Allan N. Schwartz, a Ph.D. holder in social psychology from Yeshiva University and certified in psychoanalysis by NPAP in New York City

Lu Ngo and Allan N. Schwartz discuss the significance of addressing resentment, which can quietly damage well-being when left unchecked. By discussing and forgiving resentments, individuals can foster emotional growth and improve their overall happiness.

Meet Allan N. Schwartz

Allan N. Schwartz actively writes articles under the pseudonym DocTalk for Substack and WordPress, exploring the realm of psychotherapy. Holding a Ph.D. in social psychology from Yeshiva University in New York City. Allan also possesses psychoanalytic certification from NPAP, a postgraduate institute in the same city. 

With extensive experience in psychiatry and private psychotherapy practice, Allan was interviewed by The Guardian in an article titled “NY on the Couch” following the events of 9/11. Additionally, he has appeared on numerous radio and television broadcasts. His book, Explorations in Psychotherapy, is currently available on Amazon.

About the episode

In this episode, Lu Ngo and Allan N. Schwartz discuss how to recognize resentment in one’s life. They stress the importance of noticing when one feels things are unfair or unjust, which can slowly make one feel less happy.

To recognize resentment in your life, it’s vital to notice when you feel treated unfairly or unjustly, as these feelings can silently harm your happiness. Triggers for resentment may vary, often arising from feeling offended or disrespected, even in small interactions

It’s crucial to acknowledge these emotions rather than letting them build up, as unresolved resentment can harm relationships and occupy your mind. Discussing your feelings with the person involved can often clear up misunderstandings and ease resentment. If ignored, resentment can take over, harming both your mental health and relationships. 

Thus, addressing and resolving resentments through open communication and forgiveness is essential for maintaining happiness and strong relationships. Another way to free yourself from the gripping of resentment is to learn how to forgive. 

Allan N. Schwartz outlines key indicators of how to learn to forgive:

  • Recognize the importance of forgiveness in communication, avoiding accusatory pronouns like “you.”
  • Initiate dialogue by expressing personal feelings rather than pointing fingers.
  • Understand the power and delicacy of forgiveness, both in asking for it and offering it.
  • Practice self-forgiveness if direct forgiveness isn’t feasible or appropriate.
  • Acknowledge that holding onto resentment can escalate into harmful emotions like hatred.
  • Appreciate the impact of forgiveness on both emotional and physical well-being.
  • Start the forgiveness journey with small steps, such as reframing thoughts and practicing self-compassion.

In closing, remember that forgiveness is a journey that requires patience, understanding, and self-compassion. By embracing forgiveness, we not only free ourselves from the burdens of resentment but also foster healing and well-being in our lives.

In conclusion

In conclusion, Lu Ngo and Allan N. Schwartz shed light on the importance of recognizing and addressing resentment in individuals’ lives. By openly discussing feelings and practicing forgiveness, individuals can alleviate resentment and promote emotional well-being. Allan N. Schwartz provides valuable insights into the process of learning to forgive, highlighting the importance of communication, understanding, and self-compassion. 

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