Have you ever considered how your parenting styles impact your child’s development? Do you follow an authoritative approach, balancing discipline and warmth, or are you more permissive, allowing your child greater freedom?
Parenting styles refer to the variations in attitudes and practices that parents adopt. These styles help parents raise their children and produce stable patterns in child adjustment outcomes. They significantly influence various domains of child development, even impacting overall well-being.
Parenting is a demanding yet gratifying journey. Understanding different parenting styles will enable you to provide a supportive environment and effectively nurture healthy child development.
This article explores parenting styles in child development, including relevant theories, the impact of 4 parenting styles, and the ways to adopt authoritative parenting. Read today — reflect on your adopted parenting style, seek out resources, and consider how best to benefit the development of your young one.
The developmental psychology of parenting styles
Every parent follows a different approach to guiding and interacting with their children. Parenting styles predict a child’s well-being in various domains, such as academic performance, problem behavior, psychosocial development, and social competence.
Diana Baumrind, a developmental and clinical psychologist, categorized parenting styles as authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive/indulgent. Later, Martin and Maccoby added a neglectful/uninvolved parenting style.
According to Baumrind’s theoretical model of parenting style, the prime element of a parental role is to socialize with their child to conform to the obligatory demands of others and maintain personal integrity.
Parents shape their children’s understanding of how to interact with the world, making their parenting style a determinant of child development.
Many parents adapt a style based on their social and cultural demands. For instance, the working and lower classes often emphasize obedience, show less affection and warmth, and frequently use assertive discipline.
Most psychological issues in children and adolescents are linked to parenting styles. Children of neglectful parents often develop behavioral problems (e.g., frequent temper tantrums and aggression) as early as age three.
Later, these children become antisocial and hostile adolescents. Moreover, children of permissive parents are rebellious, disobedient, and more demanding. They experience difficulty controlling their impulses and are more dependent on adults.
Impact of each parenting style on child development
Each parenting style — authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and neglectful — offers different approaches to nurturing children. Understanding the impact is essential to recognize how different parenting methods affect your child’s development.
Authoritarian parenting
Parents follow a “rigid ruler” approach in an authoritarian parenting style, which means they are highly demanding and low in support.
As a result, children are more likely to be proficient and obedient. However, they tend to have lower levels of happiness and social competence. Parents are in charge and provide clearly stated rules within structured environments without any explanations for their orders.
Authoritarian parenting is characterized by a lack of warmth and strict control. It yields children with depersonalization, lower self-esteem, increased anxiety, and diminished cognitive growth. They demonstrate less positive (e.g., prosocial behavior) and more negative (e.g., conduct problems, hyperactivity, and emotional symptoms) outcomes.
Children often struggle with emotional expression, which can make forming a healthy emotional bond with others challenging. This parenting style can lead to aggressive behavior and social withdrawal.
For instance, Thomas, a curious young child, explored his emotions and interests freely. However, over time, his parents imposed strict rules without considering his feelings, dictating his behaviors and stifling his openness to experimenting and questioning. Although they provided necessities, their lack of emotional support made him feel isolated.
Read more: How to Encourage Positive Peer Relationships in Kids
Permissive parenting
Parents with permissive parenting, also called indulgent parenting style, are lenient, low in demandingness, and high in support. They do not enforce rules and don’t try to get children to follow societal norms (what is acceptable behavior).
Hence, in this type of parenting style, children tend to rank low in self-regulation and happiness.
They are more likely to have authority-related problems. They usually have decent social skills and some self-esteem. However, they are often demanding, self-absorbed, impulsive, and are more likely to break societal norms.
Take the hypothetical case of Emma. Emma grew up with loving but permissive parents who hardly enforced any strict boundaries, letting her express herself freely.
As she grew, different issues began to emerge. However, she struggled with self-regulation at the adolescence stage. The lack of clear limits hindered her from resisting impulsive behaviors and managing her time and tasks successfully, thus affecting her academic life.
Neglectful parenting
Parents with uninvolved or neglectful parenting provide more freedom to their children and fulfill their basic needs. However, these parents are very detached from their lives. This parenting style is characterized by little nurturing, limited communication, and little to no expectations from their children.
Children are usually resilient and self-sufficient. However, such skills are developed out of necessity. They lack self-regulation, show delinquency and antisocial behavior, and report somatic complaints, depression, and anxiety. Therefore, a neglectful parenting style has been associated with the poorest child development outcomes.
Therefore, neglectful parenting leads children to experience academic challenges and trouble controlling their emotions. Also, they possess less effective coping strategies and experience difficulty nurturing and/or maintaining social relationships.
For example, a kid named Alex grew up with emotionally distant parents who only addressed his basic needs. As a result, he became resilient and self-sufficient. Young Alex learned to navigate life’s challenges independently as he grew.
However, he struggled academically due to a lack of parental encouragement and guidance. Lacking effective coping strategies, Alex felt difficulty managing stress and building meaningful relationships.
Authoritative parenting
In an authoritative parenting style, parents have high, reasonable, and consistent expectations for their child’s behavior. They are warm, responsive, communicate well, and use reasoning rather than coercion to guide them.
Children develop greater self-confidence. and competence. They even tend to be capable, happy, and successful in life.
Authoritative parenting is often associated with positive emotional, social, and cognitive outcomes in children. They exhibit enhanced resilience and emotional regulation. It results in well-adjusted and socially competent children, thus fostering interpersonal skills and healthy social relationships. Also, they demonstrate high intellectual curiosity, academic achievement, and better problem-solving skills.
A good example of authoritative parenting is when it comes to enforcing rules. Say that there is a mother called Sarah.
Sarah, an authoritative parent, noticed her 12-year-old son, Leo, using a smartphone instead of completing his homework. Calmly, she explained the consequences of losing phone privileges if his task remained incomplete while setting a deadline.
By setting clear expectations, providing support, and room for conversation, she promoted responsibility and accountability in Leo, making him feel respected and understood.
Tips for adopting an authoritative style
Adopting authoritative parenting is crucial as it balances demandingness and responsiveness. It promotes healthy social, emotional, developmental, and academic achievement. Children raised with such a parenting style tend to be more independent, socially adept, self-confident, self-reliant, emotionally regulated, etc.
Consistent discipline, clear expectations, and supportive guidance help them reduce behavioral issues and develop strong problem-solving skills. But as a parent, how can you turn these into practical steps? Here are some ways:
Implementing structure and support
Set clear boundaries for your child’s behavior by applying various practices. You can establish healthy rules. You should also provide consequences for behavior or misbehavior.
While setting rules is necessary, balance them with responsiveness. Respond to your child’s emotions and needs to build a strong bond with them. This may include practices such as actively listening and responding promptly to their requests and comforting them when they feel upset.
Encouraging independence while providing guidance
To foster independence in children, allow them to engage in age-appropriate decision-making. For instance, let children select their outfits or decide which hobby they would like to pursue.
While doing so, establish clear expectations and guidelines by explaining the reason and logic behind them. For instance, explain the reason (e.g., improves health and promotes growth) for setting your children’s bedtime at 7 PM or 9 PM.
Recognizing and modifying less effective styles
Identifying and modifying your current parenting style, especially avoiding authoritarian parenting tendencies, is important for effective and positive child development. Hence, use the below tips to recognize and modify your parenting style:
- Assess yourself. Ask questions like, “Am I open to dialogue with my child(ren)?” or “How do I react when my child(ren) disobeys?”.
- Engage in active listening without being impatient. Listen and understand what your children have to say. Both listening and validating your child’s emotions help them develop a sense of self-control.
- Impose fair consequences. When household rules are violated, avoid corporal punishment, and don’t shame your children for their mistakes. Rather, examine the situation and enforce consequences that are both fair and consistent.
Applying consistency across settings
Parenting requires consistency when it comes to expectations and discipline to ensure that your child feels secure in a particular environment. While core principles remain similar, try adjusting to implementing rules to fit across different settings. For instance, a child may be allowed to run at a park but not in a shopping mall.
Moreover, before letting your child interact with a new setting, set and discuss expectations of their behaviors accordingly. For example, guiding your children on how to behave in a classroom or during a family gathering before they actually go there.
Adapting to individual child needs
Parenting styles may directly impact children’s social, emotional, and psychological development. You may need to constantly adjust your parenting styles according to your children’s needs, abilities, and temperament.
Consider your child’s age because their temperaments may change as they grow. For example, toddlers and preschoolers may require a more supervisory approach. However, teens may require more independence. Adjusting or changing parenting style becomes necessary if it does not work out.
In conclusion
Learning how different types of parenting styles shape various aspects of a child’s development highlights the importance of adopting a mindful parenting approach.
Read more: Challenges in Parenthood and How Mindful Parenting Can Help
Parents must reflect on their parenting techniques and consider adjustment. Strive for authoritative parenting to cultivate resilience, independence, and social competence. Balance warmth and discipline, consistently provide emotional support and clear expectations.
To effectively adopt an authoritative parenting style, focus on establishing clear boundaries and expectations and encourage independence while offering guidance. Also, provide consistent discipline with open communication, and be adaptable to your child’s unique needs.
Take action by tailoring your parenting styles to fit your child’s varying abilities and temperament, contributing to more balanced and healthier growth.
If you would like to see more resources on parenting, check out the Personal Science Labs. The lab uses the research of the Institute for Life Management Science to produce courses, certifications, podcasts, videos, and other tools. Visit the Personal Science Labs today.
Photo by Freepik