Was there a time when you hesitated to express happiness due to doubts or negative thoughts?
You’re not alone. Many people have experienced complex emotions of happiness and guilt. These emotions usually arise when you feel happy about something while simultaneously being aware that people around you are facing a challenging situation.
Through this article, you’ll understand the concept of ‘happiness guilt’. You’ll also learn the strategies to manage it effectively.
By understanding the root causes and adopting self-compassion, you can deal with this complex emotion. Learn more below.
Understanding happiness guilt
‘Happiness guilt’ is more profound than the momentary emotion of regret. It is a persistent emotion entangled with shame or anxiety, especially while experiencing pleasure.
Unlike brief regrets, the feeling of happiness guilt lingers, casting its shadows over joyous moments. It’s the feeling that comes with having fun. The following are a few examples:
- Going out to dine and party with friends while a relative is ailing. It arouses a sense of guilt. You are torn between guilt and a sense of responsibility.
- Going on vacation when there is a financial crisis in the country/region. This situation weighs on your conscience.
- Opting to relax on your weekend, especially when work demands attention, gives rise to feelings of happiness and guilt.
Read more: The Paradox of Guilt and Happiness
Why does one feel guilty when happy?
The root cause of happiness guilt is when individuals start thinking deeply that this is not the right time to feel happy. Their happiness feels undeserved. This internal conflict persists over time and deeply affects their ability to enjoy the present moment.
It’s a complex emotion. Thus, the following sections shed light on the psychological aspects of happiness guilt.
Personality traits
These are patterns and characteristics driven by thoughts, emotions, and behavior. They influence how individuals interact with each other and in various situations and environments.
There are many recognized personality traits, but neuroticism is of particular interest because of its relation to happiness guilt. Neuroticism is a personality trait that is described as an inclination towards negative emotions, including anxiety, worry, and sadness. An individual with high neuroticism may be more prone to experience happiness guilt.
Furthermore, a neurotic individual may find it hard to enjoy happy moments without feeling compelled to perform flawlessly in his assigned task. They may be more vulnerable to feelings of happiness and guilt due to their negative perspective.
People like this struggle to live in the present. They’re always preoccupied with the thought of future challenges or the fleeting nature of enjoyment.
Read more: Embracing Negative Emotions for Mental Well-being and Personal Growth
Past experiences
Upbringing plays a crucial role in shaping one’s perspective and behavior.
Thus, understanding these patterns helps lead life more cautiously. For someone who’s had a critical or disapproving upbringing, these beliefs could stay with them for a lifetime.
For example, a child who has been reprimanded for playing with friends instead of studying carries the guilt even in adulthood. He’ll feel guilty whenever he needs to take a break or participate in activities other than work.
A person who has gone through trauma or loss might have a significant impact on his capacity to feel happiness. As he has fallen prey to a terrible experience in the past or has lost a loved one, recognizing true happiness appears to be quite challenging. Healing and seeking support become crucial in such cases.
Acknowledging emotions is a big step towards well-being. It is normal to find happiness even amidst pain and suffering or when cherished moments have faded away.
Internalized beliefs
These are ideas, attitudes, or perceptions that tend to become an integral part of an individual’s personality. It is an unconscious mental process through which an individual absorbs traits, beliefs, attitudes, etc., under the influence of external influences. Beliefs play a major role in everyone’s understanding of the world. People might end up believing that they don’t deserve happiness and thus feel guilty about it.
There might be a root cause. Happiness guilt might arise because of jealousy or resentment. People might even believe that some other person is not happy and thus doesn’t deserve happiness as well.
Handling happiness guilt
Suppressing emotions can lead to an overwhelming sense of emotional turmoil. On the other hand, expressing it without any judgment or attempting to change it might lead to chaos between people.
When you accept happiness guilt, you can move forward with handling it constructively.
Accept the emotion
Whenever you feel guilt, take a moment to pause. Try to be in an open space. Breathe, think about the emotion, and allow yourself to accept it without judgment.
You can even write down your emotions and their association with them. Writing it down might help to elaborate feelings/emotions and be a step closer to acceptance.
Examine the judgment
One needs to examine one’s own self-judgements, especially when it comes to negative emotions.
Often, individuals might be harsh and exaggerated in their own eyes. It’s very helpful to adopt a more self-compassionate view. Remember, it is okay to feel compassionate and loved.
Give yourself time
It is important to take time off. So it is best to allot some time or schedule some time to take off. Time to enjoy stress-free time and enjoy a day or more without feeling guilty.
Practice gratitude
Be thankful for all the things you can be grateful for. This is called gratitude practice.
Practice the art of thankfulness. Try and feel thankful for tokens of life that have made a positive impact. It not only helps with balancing mood but also helps with understanding and nourishing your emotions.
Set boundaries
Communicating your need to maintain healthy boundaries is necessary, not just for the individuals themselves but also for their relationships with others. Overcome your fear of rejection. Don’t be overpowered by guilt, and maintain a healthy relationship with yourself. This is important for your respect.
In conclusion
Happiness guilt is a complex and irrational emotion. It eventually prevents one from feeling the utmost happiness. Understanding and breaking out of the feeling of guilt association is important for a fulfilling life.
Maintain small steps towards recognizing the emotions. Accepting them, and dealing with them in a practical outlook can help you cope with the emotion in the long run, as well.
But remember that your happiness is yours, and you don’t have to feel guilty about it.
If you would like to see more resources on guilt, check out the Happiness Science Labs. The lab uses the research of the Institute for Life Management Science to produce courses, certifications, podcasts, videos, and other tools. Visit the Happiness Science Labs today.
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