Commitment is one of the most important things in serious romantic relationships, especially if you aim for longevity. However, commitment can also be a barrier in a romantic relationship. Relationships ending due to commitment issues are common, especially in people who have a fear of commitment.
Understanding fear of commitment
In general, commitment is a motivation that can be in the form of a desire to maintain the relationship and the existing emotional bond. According to research from the University of Denver, commitment is a desire to persist in the relationship and maintain emotional attachment.
Without a clear goal, commitment can become a problem in relationships. This is because some parties are afraid of commitment, so they can not contribute to the relationship as they should. This condition certainly hurts the couple or the relationship itself.
The fear of commitment is a feeling that arises when someone finds it difficult to stay in a relationship. These fears can have various manifestations, such as fear of not being able to meet your partner’s expectations, fear of rejection, and fear of the relationship itself.
What causes fear of commitment?
There are many reasons for fear of commitment, but these are two that are most common:
The experience of seeing parents who are often in disagreement or conflict can create an impression that they will experience the same thing, which leads to the fear of commitment.
There are many reasons for ending a relationship and many of them are painful. Some of these can be the reason for the fear of committing to someone because you don’t want to feel the same experience again.
Barrier in relationships
Someone who has a fear of commitment usually feels afraid, worried, and stressed because of the relationship they are in. Moreover, when one partner wants to advance the relationship, this can make the other who has a fear of commitment feel even more frustrated.
A person who has a fear of commitment can also feel frustrated, confused, angry, and various other negative emotions, for fear that the relationship will become more serious and this is not the ideal thing that this person wants. However, they also feel guilty about their partner, because they are afraid of the commitment they have.
These conditions eventually end up in negative results. Some examples include sabotaging the relationship, threatening to separate, committing infidelity, and perhaps intentionally creating problems so that they come into conflict with their partner. These various conditions, of course, lead the relationship in one direction — breaking up.
Due to its negative impact, fear of commitment becomes a barrier that can hinder the journey of your relationship. For that, of course, it would be good if you can solve this problem early before things get worse. So, neither you nor your partner needs to feel the bad effects of fear of commitment in your relationship.
Commitment issues are just one of the many areas in a relationship that the Relationships Science Labs tackles. Functioning under the Life Management Science Labs network, the lab produces courses, certifications, videos, podcasts, and other tools that aim at improving couples dynamics. If you would like to learn more, visit the Relationships Science Labs today.