Dr. Mary Kempnich: NETIQUETTE (Netizen Etiquette) | Doing Well #56

In this episode, host Lu Ngo is joined by Dr. Mary Kempnich, a psychologist and a pioneering researcher in social networks and connections

Have you ever felt a bit hollow scrolling through likes and comments from strangers online in search of happiness? It’s easy to get a quick ego boost, but are these interactions truly meaningful? With Dr. Mary Kempnich’s expert insights, let’s uncover how to create real digital connections and foster true social connectedness with NETIQUETTE (Netizen Etiquette).

Meet Dr. Mary Kempnich

Dr. Mary Kempnich is a distinguished psychologist and researcher specializing in social networks and connections. As a conscious connection coach for high achievers, she helps individuals forge meaningful relationships with themselves, their work, and those around them.

Her passion lies in exploring how to navigate the complexities of a globalized world where opportunities for connection can often feel both abundant and elusive. Dr. Mary firmly believes that the key to a fulfilling and successful life is sharing it with loved ones, and she dedicates her work to enhancing these vital connections.

Originally from Germany, Dr. Mary has enriched her perspective through diverse cultural experiences. Her academic journey, including an exchange year in the US, a BSc at the University of St Andrews, and an MSc and DPhil at Oxford, has allowed her to form and cherish global friendships while staying connected to her roots.

Her research is driven by observing how new social environments foster personal growth and community building. This insight has also led her to integrate mindfulness into her work, focusing on both academic and personal development.

Dr. Mary’s approach is inspired by role models like Sal Mahayek and Amal Clooney and is guided by her appreciation for literature and film, with favorites including “The Great Gatsby” and “The Aristocats.

About the episode

In this episode, Dr. Mary Kempnich dives into what true well-being means. For her, it’s all about being fully present and savoring the moment. Well-being isn’t just about ticking the boxes for physical, mental, and financial health. It’s about embracing life as it comes, without constantly chasing happiness.

She describes this as “being present for pleasure,” reminding us that it’s okay to experience both good and bad moments. The real trick is to be open to whatever life throws your way. Dr. Mary also offers a fresh perspective on happiness.

She believes it’s not something you can hold onto forever; it’s more like a fleeting feeling that comes and goes. Happiness isn’t about flaunting material things like a shiny new car. It’s found in those simple, genuine moments with people you care about. It’s in the warm, deep smiles shared with friends and loved ones. 

Speaking of friendships, Dr. Mary emphasizes their crucial role in living a happy, fulfilling life. She points out that strong, supportive friendships can significantly boost your happiness, mental health, and even physical well-being.

Surprisingly, having good friends can be more beneficial than any medicine or workout routine. She encourages you to see these relationships as valuable investments in your life. Digital social connectedness, through social media or chat apps, can help maintain these important bonds.

Dr. Mary also sheds light on digital social connectedness, which goes beyond just staying in touch with close friends and family. It includes reaching out to new people and engaging with online communities. This kind of connectedness means actively participating online, not just passively scrolling through your feed.

She introduces the concept of “NETIQUETTE” (Netizen Etiquette), which is about conducting yourself online as you would in real life. It’s about being thoughtful and ensuring that your online actions align with your values so your digital presence reflects who you truly are.

The impact of digital social connectedness on well-being is a mixed bag, as Dr. Mary explains. Spending too much time just watching videos or browsing social media without engaging can lead to feelings of loneliness and exclusion. You might start comparing yourself to others or feel disconnected. However, actively engaging and practicing good NETIQUETTE can foster a sense of community and belonging.

Dr. Mary offers some straightforward advice for practicing NETIQUEice. Before posting anything, consider why you’re sharing it and who might benefit from it. Focus on sharing content that brings people together rather than highlighting differences.

Therefore, it’s perfectly okay to express yourself on social media, but remember that not everyone may connect with your posts. Use your online presence to build meaningful connections and offer support or knowledge to others.

Finally, Dr. Mary advises being cautious with online interactions. If you receive a message that makes you uncomfortable, it’s okay to take a pause before responding. This approach can help you manage your digital social connectedness in a healthier way.

Additionally, these simple gestures can make a big difference in maintaining friendships and creating a supportive online community. This not only enhances your well-being but also enriches your digital social connectedness, making your online experiences more positive and fulfilling.

In conclusion

Digital social connectedness is not about always being happy or having a perfect online image. It’s about enjoying each moment, building real friendships, and being mindful of how you interact online.

By finding this balance and embracing both the highs and lows, you’ll set yourself up for a more fulfilling, connected life. So, as you move forward, focus on creating genuine connections and appreciating the present, and watch how it transforms your sense of well-being.

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