How You Think About Happiness Matters; Here’s How to Use It

Ask yourself the following questions: What is happiness? What causes happiness? What do you really get from happiness?

Now, ask your friends, family, partners, colleagues, or acquaintances. Do you think their answer will be the same? Not likely. This is because everyone has a different way of interpreting happiness.

These beliefs will determine the experience of happiness itself, whether they enable or inhibit it. Thus, it is necessary to be aware of how you think about happiness and whether it could be beneficial or detrimental for you.

This article will explore how various conceptions of happiness shape your experience, and how you can intentionally redefine the beliefs to support greater happiness and well-being. Take a look at your beliefs and consider ways to harness them in your journey toward happiness.

Conceptions of happiness

To gain a deeper understanding of your thoughts on happiness, research on lay conceptions of happiness may offer some insights.

In this study involving Korean and Canadian samples, conceptions of happiness refer to the beliefs about the nature, value, antecedents, and outcomes of happiness. The primary finding of this study is that these conceptions of happiness are significantly associated with an individual’s overall happiness and well-being.

The researcher noted that the following conceptions of happiness seem to improve happiness and well-being:

• Valuing happiness. The belief regarding the value of happiness is that it is crucial to obtain and maintain (e.g., “It is important for me to feel happy“).
• Eudaimonism. The belief about the nature of happiness and how it extends beyond the mere absence of negative feelings and the presence of enjoyment and happy feelings. Instead, it consists of self-actualization, meaningful pursuits, and a profound understanding of life’s meaning (e.g., “I believe happiness is having a sense of purpose in life“). 
• Transformative suffering. The belief that revolves around the nature and consequences of unhappiness is that suffering is a part of well-being and should be embraced, as it can sometimes be positive and lead to personal transformation (e.g., “Sometimes sadness can lead us to happiness“). 
• Inclusive happiness. The belief concerning the nature of happiness, on how it depends on others’ happiness and well-being. This includes other people’s, animals’, and the environment (e.g., “To be happy, others around me should be happy as well“).

Negative conceptions of happiness

But while there are conceptions of happiness that could cultivate its experience, some beliefs do not generate a similar output.

Recognizing these beliefs is necessary because they could hinder you in your journey toward happiness. Below are conceptions of happiness that are associated with less happiness and well-being:

• Fear of happiness. The belief regarding the value and consequences of happiness on how it will cause negative things to occur (e.g., “Bad things can happen from having too much fun“).
• Fragility of happiness. The belief concerning the nature of happiness, on how it is fleeting and can easily turn into less favorable states, making it difficult to sustain (e.g., “Happiness can be lost at any time“).
• Externality of happiness. The belief about the nature of happiness is that it is primarily determined by external factors instead of one’s control (e.g., “Happiness is beyond my control“).
• Inflexibility of happiness. The belief related to the nature of happiness, on how its levels are fixed and unchangeable (e.g., “Some people have a happy personality, some people don’t. So, people can’t change how happy they are“).

In short, some ways of understanding happiness are more effective at nurturing happiness and well-being, while others are less than ideal in this regard. 

How to shape what you think about happiness

Based on the findings of the study, it can be inferred that cultivating happiness and well-being involves fostering certain beliefs while regulating or reframing others.

Here are some tips for you to do so:

Reflect your current beliefs

Now that you have gained the insights regarding the categories of happiness-related beliefs, take a moment to reflect on your own beliefs. This can be beneficial because it helps you identify the beliefs that are contributing to your happiness and the ones that hinder it. 

To do so, grab a piece of paper and jot down the answers for the following prompts:

• For me, the definition of happiness is …
• What are the things that made me experience happiness?
• Aside from quick pleasure and comfort, what are the other things that cause me to experience happiness?
• Compared to other things in my life, how important is happiness for me?
• Should unhappiness and difficulties be avoided at all costs?
• Aside from myself, do I think connection with others, animals, or the environment helps me experience happiness?
• Does happiness depend on my external circumstances?
• Is happiness temporary or permanent? 
• Do I ever hold back from happiness because I believe that something bad will happen after?
• Do I believe my “happiness set point” is fixed, or that I can grow happier over time?

Once finished, you now have a written form of the beliefs you have about happiness. Congratulations on taking this first step! With this awareness, you now have the power to determine which beliefs should be adjusted, released, and nurtured.

Read more: Why You Should Have Many Different Definitions of Happiness

Normalize and explore the roots of your beliefs

After identifying the conceptions of happiness that you held, you may notice that you have some beliefs that are associated with less happiness. That is totally okay! You are not the only one who develops these beliefs. Everyone has their own unhelpful beliefs at some point in their life. 

So, remind yourself that having less-than-ideal beliefs about happiness is a regular part of the human experience. What matters is that you are now aware of the beliefs you should reframe in your journey toward happiness and well-being.

What you can do right now is to explore the origins of these beliefs. Most beliefs about happiness don’t appear out of nowhere. It could be from your childhood experiences, cultural and religious teachings, or any other factors. 

For example, some people avoid happiness because they come from a culture that believes expressing happiness can anger a supernatural deity.

To do so, revisit the list of beliefs you have generated before. For each of those beliefs, answer the following prompts:

• Where did I first internalize this belief?
• Has holding this belief served a purpose for me in the past?
• Does having this belief serve a purpose for me right now?
• Do I still agree with this belief?

Doing this practice could help you trace back the origins of your beliefs and reflect on whether they still reflect your values today, especially after understanding that some beliefs could inhibit and enable one’s happiness. 

By looking back on its origin, you have now given yourself the space to consciously decide on what to do with those beliefs.

Reflect the impacts and reframe the beliefs

Now that you have the idea of what beliefs you had and where they came from, you should connect how they’ve affected your life. This would help provide the evidence on why various conceptions of happiness could be truly beneficial and detrimental to your happiness and well-being.

In addition to that, it could give you the motivation to reframe the beliefs that could inhibit you from happiness. You can do this through the ABCDE model, which was proposed by Martin Seligman, an American psychologist and the author of “Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life.” 

With the ABCDE Model, you can assess the impact of your beliefs and develop a strategy for moving forward by reframing them.  The steps are as follows:

1. Adversity (A). Identify and describe the adverse event or situation you are facing that inhibits you from experiencing happiness.
2. Belief (B). Recognize the beliefs or thoughts that arise in response to adversity. You could connect this with the previously mentioned conceptions of happiness that are related to less happiness and well-being.
3. Consequences (C). Observe and record the emotional and behavioral outcomes resulting from holding these beliefs.
4. Disputation (D). Challenge and dispute the beliefs using the following techniques:
   1. Evidence. Provide evidence that contradicts the negative belief.
   2. Alternative explanations. Consider alternative reasons or explanations for the event.
   3. Usefulness. Assess whether the belief is useful or helpful.
   4. Implications. Evaluate the implications of the belief and its accuracy.
5. Energization (E). Note the shift in your psychological state after disputing the beliefs. You should also record how this change affects the way you perceive happiness.

In conclusion 

Think about the time before you read this article. Back then, did you take the time to reflect on the beliefs you have about happiness? Were you aware of certain beliefs that held you back from happiness?

Right now, you are a newer version of yourself. You now know that specific ideas about happiness may make or break your experience of happiness itself. 

With the knowledge of the previously mentioned conceptions of happiness, you may now recognize which beliefs to embrace, which to reframe, and the practical steps to move forward.

As you move forward on your journey toward happiness, nurture the beliefs that uplift you and transform those that hold you back.

If you want to see more resources on happiness, check out the Happiness Science Labs. The lab uses the research of the Institute for Life Management Science to produce courses, certifications, podcasts, videos, and other tools. Visit the Happiness Science Labs today.

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