Perfectionism can be influenced by societal and cultural expectations that vary by gender, often placing additional pressure on individuals to meet unrealistic standards. Peg O’Connor discusses the pitfalls of perfectionism in personal productivity, highlighting its all-or-nothing mindset and gender dimensions while offering strategies like acknowledging self-worth and accepting limitations to mitigate its negative effects.
Meet Peg O’Connor
Peg O’Connor is a Professor of Philosophy at Gustavus Adolphus College in St. Peter, MN. She has been a recovering alcoholic for 35 years and is the author of Higher and Friendly Powers: Transforming Addiction and Suffering (Wildhouse Publications, 2022) and Life on the Rocks: Finding Meaning in Addiction and Recovery (Central Recovery Press, 2016). She also writes the column “Philosophy Stirred, Not Shaken” for psychologytoday.com.
In her free time, Peg is an avid tennis player and a black belt in taekwondo. She has worked in dog rescue for about 10 years. She finds that her faith in humanity can be simultaneously shattered by meeting mistreated animals and restored by colleagues who are fiercely loving and caring advocates. Her dog, Clooney, is a rescue dog, and they spend their days together in the great Minneapolis area.
About the episode
Perfectionism, as Peg describes, sets unattainably high standards, fostering a mindset where anything less than perfect is deemed a failure. This black-or-white thinking can lead to self-deception and significant psychological stress. Perfectionists often strive for absolute perfection, dismissing anything that doesn’t meet their exacting standards.
Acknowledgment is the first step in overcoming perfectionism. Perfectionists often face isolation and fear, exacerbated by their relentless pursuit of perfection. While they may garner praise for their high standards, it is crucial to interrupt this cycle, as perfectionism can become an unconscious habit. Fear of failure and constant comparison can lead to social disconnection, making recognizing and addressing these patterns essential.
Psychological factors like anxiety and competition contribute to perfectionist tendencies. However, privileging collaboration over competition can help mitigate these effects. Small habits can lead to excellence, and having faith in oneself can reduce feelings of isolation and dislocation.
Peg shares a few strategies for overcoming perfectionism:
- One key strategy is emphasizing deliberate response over immediate reaction. Differentiating between reacting and responding allows individuals to pause and think deliberately, fostering self-possession and adherence to one’s values and commitments.
- Additional strategies include cultivating gratitude, focusing on positive attributes, and placing oneself in safe situations. Keeping a gratitude journal and reflecting on things to be thankful for can shift focus away from flaws.
Overcoming perfectionism is not a one-size-fits-all solution; it requires recognizing and altering thought patterns. Embracing limitations can be liberating, allowing individuals to grow beyond the constraints of perfectionism.
In conclusion
Peg O’Connor’s insights into perfectionism offer valuable strategies for mitigating its negative effects. By acknowledging self-worth, accepting limitations, and fostering deliberate responses, individuals can overcome the all-or-nothing mindset and achieve personal productivity and growth.
Be the first to see our next episode. Follow us on social media to stay updated:
You can also subscribe and listen to the show on your preferred podcasting platforms:
