Some couples who live together may seem harmonious. However, far from this romantic image, they will actually face many problems.
For most, one of their most significant issues will be balancing their personal space and togetherness. Shared living arrangements mean that couples often spend time together, which is good for the relationship.
However, too much of anything is always bad. People who don’t have personal space in a relationship will feel bored, lack boundaries, and thus are more prone to conflict. This is because the individual and his partner spend too much time together. If this condition is ignored, it can cause bigger problems in a romantic relationship.
Therefore, to improve the quality of their relationship, couples who live together should consider balancing togetherness and personal space. Read this article to learn more about personal space and how to apply it in relationships.
The issues of shared living in couples
When a couple starts living together, they spend most of their time together. At first, this will be fun, but over time, one will feel tired and frustrated because they have no time for themselves. This condition will gradually cause problems for the relationship.
Couples who share living arrangements tend to have difficulty balancing personal space and togetherness.
By living together, the possibility of spending more time together minimizes personal space. This causes an imbalance between personal space and togetherness. If left unchecked, this condition can cause problems in the relationship.
Read more: Living Together: Pros and Cons of Cohabitation Prior to Exchanging Rings
Personal space refers to the area around a person that is psychologically considered to be theirs. If this space is disturbed, it causes discomfort, anger, or anxiety in the person. Togetherness refers to actions or habits that are carried out with another person, such as watching TV, eating, or doing other things together.
Ideally, personal space and togetherness should be balanced in daily life. For example, you may live together and often do various activities with your partner, such as reading a book or exercising. However, you also need time and space for yourself to maintain a balance between them.
If there’s no balance between the two, people can feel they don’t have a place to relax, reflect, and spend time alone, and they may also feel they lack privacy.
This condition can cause them to feel emotionally constrained and drained. If this continues, it can lead to unhappiness and resentment toward the relationship. It can also increase conflicts because people become more easily angry and frustrated with their partners.
The importance of balance
There is an opinion that couples who spend most of their time together will have high quality romantic relationship. Unfortunately, this assumption is not quite right, because it often causes an imbalance — especially true if the couple lives together. There will be a point when the two parties experience communication problems and conflict, which will affect relationship satisfaction.
Balance is key to a quality relationship for cohabiting couples. By doing this, couples can have time and space for themselves while still being able to spend time with their partners.
Couples with personal space can still do things they like, such as hobbies or other activities. This also helps them to continue to develop even though they are in a romantic relationship. This also helps couples feel free and remain themselves.
On the other hand, togetherness between couples will also be maintained.
Couples who can still make time to be together despite their respective busy lives tend to experience various positive things, such as increased communication, which leads to satisfaction in the relationship.
In essence, balancing togetherness and personal space in shared living arrangements can help couples have a good relationship while still trying to develop themselves.
Actionable approaches for balance
Couples who share a living arrangement can do several things to create balance. This is important for couples to do because having a balance between personal space and togetherness can help create a quality relationship.
So, to create balance and a quality relationship, you can do various things, as explained below.
Effective communication
This is not just about exchanging information but understanding each other’s emotions and intent. Through this, you can listen to each other and fully understand what is being expressed.
Through effective communication, individuals can discuss having some time for themselves. They can better express why they need it in the relationship without offending anyone.
Through honest and open communication about these needs, individuals and partners can accommodate each other’s needs so that both parties have their personal space.
There are several practices that individuals can do to carry out effective communication, including:
- Delivering words clearly. By doing this, they are easily understood by the other person. This can be done by using short and simple sentences when speaking.
- Being concrete. Using concise and focused language, so that the intended information can be conveyed without confusing the other person.
- Being more considerate. Individuals need to consider the best method to communicate with the other person, the words used, and how the other person thinks.
- Being polite. Individuals need to communicate in a friendly and honest manner so that the interaction provides a positive view for the other person.
Designated personal space
Manage personal space by creating a special spot you can use when needed.
This special place can be a specific room, a cozy corner, or a chair. You can use it to be alone without being disturbed by your partner.
So, personal space is a place that individuals can use to do various things or be alone without being disturbed by others.
However, there are some limits. You can create your personal space anywhere to do various things as you please, as long as you don’t disturb other people (or your partner, for that matter). To ensure this, communicate and respect each other’s boundaries.
You can go directly to that place whenever you want personal space. This also needs to be known to each other, so that both parties can respect each other while they are there.
Scheduled alone time
To feel personal space while in a romantic relationship, you should spend time alone.
However, before doing this, you must determine several things. For example, decide what kind of alone time you’ll do, how long it will take, and when to do it.
By understanding these various things, you can communicate with your partner regarding your desire to spend time alone. Through this communication, you can respect each other’s wishes and can spend alone time more comfortably.
Quality shared activities
In addition to creating personal space, couples with a shared living arrangement also need to do activities together to create a balance between personal space and togetherness.
Couples who often do something together tend to feel close, happy, and open to each other.
They often feel that the relationship is going well. Some examples of activities that can be done together are watching movies together, exercising together, cooking together, or having special rituals or routines that are done together.
Read more: Creating Couple’s Rituals to Strengthen Romantic Relationships
Respect for boundaries
Respecting each other’s boundaries is one of the key factors for maintaining personal space. To do this effectively, you can do several things, including:
- Communicating each other’s boundaries and what the consequences are when those boundaries are violated
- The level of intimacy that is preferred and desired
- Individual comfort zone
- Factors that cause discomfort
Through these things, couples can learn to understand and respect each other’s boundaries to maintain personal space in the relationship.
Understanding these aspects allows both partners to recognize what each person needs to feel secure and respected.
Once these boundaries are identified, it’s essential to communicate them openly with one another. Clear communication ensures that both partners know and can respect each other’s limits, creating a healthy space where personal boundaries are respected.
Read more: Creating Healthy Boundaries in a Romantic Relationship
In conclusion
Couples who share living arrangements often face challenges caused by an imbalance between personal space and togetherness, which can negatively impact your relationship. When this imbalance occurs, you’re more prone to conflict, and you won’t feel good around each other.
To overcome this, you simply need balance. However, this can be difficult to do because relationships are often complex.
For that, this article discussed science-based examples that you can implement. With these tips, you can reintroduce balance and see your relationship grow!
If you would like to see more resources on living arrangements, check out the Relationships Science Labs. The lab uses the research of the Institute for Life Management Science Labs to produce courses, certifications, podcasts, videos, and other tools. Check out the Relationship Science Labs today.
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