Couples sometimes struggle to understand each other’s perspectives, leading to communication gaps and potential strain in relationships. Discussing relationship ideation and values fosters an environment where even differing perspectives are acknowledged with kindness and consideration.
Meet Emma Qi
Emma Qi is an empathetic and creative counselor who uses various tools and techniques to help clients explore themselves, including cards, Russian dolls, painting and drawing, and video games. She has degrees in psychology and counseling and is a registered member of the American Psychological Association.
With experience working as a counselor and psychologist in different countries, Emma is committed to walking alongside her clients through tough times using her pluralistic approach. Emma’s passion for life extends beyond her work. She enjoys exploring philosophy and fables and solo road trips to new destinations.
About the episode
Emma delves into the intricate definition and nature of relationships, portraying them as multifaceted associations encompassing emotional, physical, and sexual dimensions. To illustrate the intricacies of romantic relationships, Emma employs the metaphor of a song—a composition with its highs and lows, intense emotions, and the potential for rediscovery of feelings over time.
She shared that relationships have undergone significant transformations over the decades. From a more conventional and restricted form, they have evolved into diverse and personalized experiences, offering individuals an array of choices and opportunities for personal and relational growth.
Emma also introduced a concept she calls “relationship ideation.” It pertains to an individual’s beliefs, values, and relationship expectations. It includes considerations of power dynamics and communication styles, highlighting that relationship ideation extends beyond the present partner to encompass future relationship expectations.
Crucial to the alignment of relationship ideations is the practice of open communication. Couples should share their thoughts and feelings bravely, honestly, and clearly to foster understanding. This approach invites the other person into the conversation, forming a foundation for shared understanding and mutual growth.
At the beginning of a relationship, couples focus on sharing positive aspects of themselves and exploring each other’s interests. As the relationship matures, communication shifts to discussing serious topics like responsibilities, long-term goals, and conflict resolution. In the advanced stages, non-verbal communication becomes essential.
Emma suggests asking questions during the relationship ideation process to discover shared values and goals, recommending using the 36 questions from the “36 Questions to Fall in Love” exercise to facilitate open communication.
Couples should not be burdened by past relationships and instead focus on their current partner. If communication is a challenge, seeking the help of a counselor or therapist may be beneficial. She also recommends practicing open communication through games, such as sharing personal stories or expressing feelings through art, to improve relationship ideation and strengthen the bond between partners.
Emma debunks the misconception that honest communication gives one the license to hurt one’s partner. Instead, she encourages respectful and considerate expression of ideas and goals. Couples should discuss relationship ideation and values and maintain kindness during conversations even if they don’t align.
In conclusion
Open communication is essential to relationships’ evolving nature and the complexities inherent in romantic connections. Relationship ideation also extends beyond the present partner to encompass future relationship expectations. By embracing these concepts, couples can foster healthier and more fulfilling romantic relationships in a world where choices and opportunities for growth abound.
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