There is an assumption that anger and happiness cannot coexist. People think that happiness is good, while anger is bad.

Indeed, anger is a negative and displeasing emotion, but it’s not an all-destructive and inherently bad emotion that you should avoid at all costs. Instead, experiencing anger could lead to some positive outcomes. 

This article will illustrate the outcomes of anger, both the good and the bad. It will also suggest ways to get the best out of this emotion. So, scroll more to learn ways to be happy by being angry.

The benefits of anger

According to the APA Dictionary of Psychology, anger is an emotion characterized by hostility and tension. The definition also notes that it arises from frustration, real or imagined injury by another, or perceived injustice. 

Anger is inevitable. Everyone has experienced it and deemed it a destructive emotion that should be avoided at all costs. However, despite its unpleasant nature, anger can also bring some good.

Signals for correcting any harm or injustice

In a paper exploring the role of anger in relationships, researchers noted that anger acts as a signal to inform individuals of any harm or injustice that has occurred. This signal will accompany the physiological arousal that prepares them to take correctional actions.

The role of anger as a signal could be seen in many circumstances. For example, in a romantic relationship, you could be angry with your partner for frequently forgetting to take the trash out of the house.

In this situation, your anger signals a problem in their relationship that needs to be addressed. This anger could motivate you to take corrective action, such as giving your partner clear and assertive feedback.

Anger can affect one’s happiness because it motivates corrective action. The Theory of Positive Balance explains this, arguing that this correctional action signal is why a certain degree of negative emotions (anger included) is needed for happiness. 

With anger, you can address problems and seek better outcomes, leading to positive behavioral changes.

Thus, in the theory of positive balance, positive mental health is an overall state in which positive emotions surpass negative ones. However, this doesn’t imply that negative emotions are completely absent.

Motivator for goal attainment

In addition to being a corrective action signal, anger also plays a part in goal attainment. 

Researchers from Texas A&M University show this in their study. They suggested that anger motivates individuals, making them more driven and determined to overcome obstacles and achieve their goals.

A meta-analysis pointed out that successful people tend to experience higher levels of happiness and subjective well-being. Thus, goal attainment plays a role in shaping one’s happiness.

In other words, anger plays a part in your happiness. It helps you recognize your issues, resolve them, and pursue your goals. Thus, the notion that anger and happiness could not co-exist is incorrect.

Read more: Unraveling the Relationship Between Achievement and Happiness

The pitfalls of uncontrolled anger

Despite being able to generate positive outcomes, this does not mean you should not control your anger. When unregulated, the dance of anger could generate many negative outcomes, such as the following.

Narrowing perspective

Anger could narrow your perspective. Researchers from Georgetown University and Wharton School explain that this could happen because when experiencing anger, individuals tend to be fixated on their viewpoint and find it difficult to consider other perspectives. Their anger causes them to direct their focus on the triggers.

Disrupting sleep

Researchers from Iowa State University found that people with poor anger control tend to sleep poorly. Conversely, those who can control their anger impulses sleep better. In short, controlling anger is necessary to avoid disrupting sleep quality.

Practices for harnessing anger effectively

With the benefits one may reap from experiencing anger, it is important for individuals not to shun anger entirely. Meanwhile, the pitfalls that could come from unregulated anger could be detrimental.

With that in mind, finding the balance between dealing with anger and experiencing it healthily is important. Below are some ways you could employ to do so:

Establish timeout

In circumstances that elicit anger, taking a timeout to cool down and regain composure is helpful. This anger management strategy could help individuals not to engage in destructive behavior. Here are the steps to do so:

1. Communicate the duration of the timeout. If other people are involved, communicate your intention to take a timeout. Let them know how long you’ll need to set clear expectations for yourself.
2. Physically leave the situation. Remove yourself from the premises to create a physical separation. This will give you space to calm yourself.
3. Engage in healthy activities. These include activities that could reduce your anger arousal, such as walking, meditating, reading, etc. However, refrain from activities that may harm you, such as driving. Also, don’t consume alcohol and other substances, as they could exacerbate emotions and impair judgment.
4. Resume the discussion. After the agreed-upon timeout period, check to see if both parties are ready to discuss the issue calmly and constructively.

Recognize anger triggers

The first step in managing anger effectively is to be aware of your triggers. To do so, take some time to reflect on the circumstances under which you experience anger.

Grab some paper and take notes on those triggers by answering the questions below:

• What are the signs of your anger?
• In what ways could your anger benefit you?
• In daily life, what everyday situations anger you?
• In what ways does your anger become destructive?
• What are the anger-eliciting situations in your past that you find hard to let go of?
• What are the actions you do when you are angry? What are the impacts of those actions?

Reframe the angry thoughts

Once you’ve identified the triggers, identify and reframe the cognitive distortions behind them. 

Cognitive distortions are inaccurate thought patterns. Identifying and challenging cognitive distortions is important, as it helps reduce the intensity of the anger. Below are the common anger-eliciting cognitive distortions and ways to reframe them:

Labeling

These are the distortions where you generate overly simplistic and negative judgments about others. Reframe this distortion by focusing on the specific behaviors, not the person. For example:

• Distortion: “He is awful.”
• Reframing: “He may struggle with personal issues.”

Shoulds 

This is when you hold unrealistic expectations for others or themselves. Instead of demanding, it will be better to express wishes or desires and reframe these distortions. For example:

• Distortion: “She should not have done that.”
• Reframing: “I wish she would’ve behaved differently.”

Blaming

Rather than taking personal responsibility, you may assume responsibility for the situations toward others. With this kind of distortion, individuals should recognize their reactions. For example:

• Distortion: “He is an annoying person.”
• Reframing: “I am annoyed with what he did.”

Blowing things out of proportion

This is a distortion where you magnify situations to see something worse than it really is. For example:

• Distortion: “My life is over!”
• Reframing: “I am disappointed with their actions, but it is not the end of my life. ”

Therefore, you should assess and acknowledge the situation as it is without any exaggeration.

Mind reading

This is when you assume you know other people’s intentions or thoughts without evidence. To reframe this distortion, individuals focus on facts instead of speculating. For example:

• Distortion: “He is trying to gaslight me.”
• Reframing: “This is just my interpretation, not a fact. I don’t know what is in his head. Maybe I do have some responsibility for this problem.”

Fortune-telling

You do this when you predict negative outcomes without evidence. To reframe this kind of distortion, avoid assumptions and acknowledge uncertainty. 

For example:

• Distortion: “She’ll never change.”
• Reframing: “She may be resistant to change right now, but change is still possible.”

Read more: Anger Management: How to Tame Your Temper

Channel healthy anger into positive outcomes

Instead of destructive outcomes, channel your anger into positive results. Below are some steps you can take to do so:

• Appraise the situation. Reflect on the anger-eliciting situation and recall your thoughts on it. Remember your immediate thoughts regarding the situation. Next, reflect on whether you handled the situation effectively  
• Brainstorm the positive outcomes. Identify three positive ways you could have channeled your anger in that situation. This could be the solution to resolve the situation, engaging in expressive activities (writing, painting, etc) or actions that could impact a broader societal change (activism, volunteering, and advocacy).

Channeling anger into positive outcomes is a transformative experience. It turns a potentially destructive emotion into a powerful force for personal growth and meaningful change. 

However, there are times when you can’t regulate anger on your own. Addressing this is necessary, as it may cause you to be violent to others and yourself. When this happens, you should seek professional help. 

In conclusion 

Try to reflect on when you feel anger bubbling up inside you.

At that moment, you may realize that it is not merely an unpleasant feeling. Rather, it is also a message to act and fix the situation. Recognize that anger is not a villain. That being said, it is essential to manage anger and experience it healthily. You should not let it consume you.

So, take a step toward happiness by embracing and managing anger.

If you would like to see more resources on anger, check out the Happiness Science Labs. The lab uses the research of the Institute for Life Management Science to produce courses, certifications, podcasts, videos, and other tools. Visit the Happiness Science Labs today.

Photo by diana.grytsku on Freepik

The post The Benefits and Pitfalls of Anger appeared first on Insights.

However, excessive and uncontrollable anger can cause problems and damage surroundings, disrupt interpersonal relationships, and adversely affect mental health.

Anger can be caused by internal reactions (feelings, thoughts, and psychological states) and external events (threats or situations). Some people get angry quickly when they are treated unfairly or threatened. However, some get angry when their memories are brought up or even disturbed when they are having a bad day. Every person has different triggers for anger, but the key is to find the proper way to respond, which is what anger management is about.

To understand anger management, first, you need to identify what kind of approaches are available. These can then be coupled with proper anger management practices.

Approaches to controlling anger

Anger can be expressed consciously and unconsciously. There are three main approaches to managing anger: expressing anger, suppressing and redirecting emotions, and using calming techniques. 

Expressing

This approach consists of expressing anger assertively, like shouting or talking loudly to others. Even though it works assertively, expressing can be trained without hurting other people so that it prioritizes respect for others and oneself.

Suppressing

This approach aims to suppress anger and convert it into more constructive behavior. The weakness of this approach is in the form of inward expression compared to outward expression. Suppressed anger can also be manifested in passive-aggression — passing sarcastic comments, appearing perpetually hostile, or putting others down constantly. Besides, this approach can also lead to numbness, outburst, blood pressure, and even depression

Calming

Calming is an approach that controls outward behavior and internal response. Having a variety of calming techniques is helpful as you may find yourself trying to manage your anger in a variety of situations.

What is anger management therapy?

Even though anger tends to be a part of negative emotions, anger can be appropriately managed to help release negative feelings or thoughts. Anger management therapy is a strategy that can be used to leverage anger as a controlled platform for releasing emotions. It allows people to achieve constructive responses rather than destructive ones.

The goals of anger management are to help recognize triggers that lead to anger issues, manage emotion and physiological arousal, minimize stressful or anger-evoking situations, improve self-control, and healthily express your feelings. 

The main techniques of anger management involve understanding triggers and responses to anger, learning strategies to cope with anger, and changing behavior and thought.

Benefits of anger management

Even if anger ia normal, anger management therapy may benefit your personal life significantly and broaden your connections with others. 

Physical health

Anger has been linked to health risks such as high blood pressure, heart problems, diabetes, headaches, and digestive problems. Addressing issues with anger through therapy or other techniques may contribute to better physical health because it helps to improve cardiovascular health and relax the body.

Mental health

Effectively managing your anger can lead to mental health through exploring emotions, thoughts, and behavior. Anger management therapy can help enhance coping skills, understand ourselves, and develop self-awareness which can enlighten the self. Individuals can develop more positive self-talk and coping mechanisms, leading to a greater sense of self-worth.

Personal skills

Practicing anger management helps individuals learn to express their feelings and to listen more effectively. Anger management therapy can also help individuals develop greater empathy for others by learning to regulate their emotions. Individuals can become more attuned to the feelings of those around them, leading to greater emotional resilience and more fulfilling relationships.

Strategies to control your anger

Research consistently shows that cognitive behavioral interventions are effective and commonly used for managing anger. However, there are also other ways to help with anger management.

Cognitive restructuring

Cognitive restructuring helps to change views/perspectives in thinking about situations. This approach helps to understand and interpret situations to be one of the triggers for anger by training the mind to identify unhealthy thoughts so that it can think more rationally. 

This approach is part of a cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) intervention that promotes self-awareness, where a person becomes more aware of triggers, experiences, expressions, and consequences of anger. Cognitive interventions target anger-generating thoughts and images, dysfunctional familial/cultural assumptions, biased appraisal and information processing, and the like.

Relaxing

Several techniques for relaxation can be done, such as yoga, deep breathing, meditation, or mindfulness exercises. A qualitative study showed that yoga made the research respondents calmer and better able to manage their anger. 

Pranayama is one type of yoga that can help you overcome frustration and cope with anger using deep breathing and breath control.

Anger can affect several parts of the body, such as muscle tension in the neck and shoulders. If your neck is stiff, gently roll your head toward one shoulder and the other. Coordinate your head roll with your breathing. Repeat this several times until you feel the tense muscles in your neck relax a little.

The 7/11 breathing technique involves breathing in for 7 seconds and out for 11 seconds. The method can help you relax, clear your mind, and activate your parasympathetic nervous system. Here are 7/11 techniques that you can easily do:

1. Take a moment to concentrate on your breath
2. Inhale slowly for a count of 7
3. Exhale slowly for a count of 11
4. Keep going for at least 1 minute
5. Consider the outcomes of reacting from a more peaceful state of mind

Humor effect

A study in Spain proved that humor could be a relevant component for predicting how individuals handle angry feelings or episodes. 

In addition, research also showed how humor reduces the degree of anger based on a neural explanation: humor improves social communication skills to alleviate interpersonal conflict.

Although it’s not easy to laugh when you’re angry, identifying the early signs of anger can help diffuse tense situations before spiraling out of control. 

1. Practice laughing by starting with smiling, saying “ha” to get the laugh going, and for instance saying “ha ha ha ha” after a few. Getting used to laughing can help release anger easier.
2. Keeping funny things with you can develop a sense of humor. You can save a meme on your phone, keep something comical like a bobbling figure, or put a sticky note with a funny saying or joke.
3. When you feel angry, do something enjoyable, such as going to an amusement park, watching your favorite sitcom or cartoon on TV, or doing some physical activity. It will be much easier to develop humor if you’re doing something that will relax, lighten the mood, and put a smile on your face.

In conclusion

Anger is stress that explodes outwards, often with negative consequences. Yet anger is a valid emotion and sometimes can motivate you in both positive and negative ways. Anger can help a person express and release negative feelings, but excessive, uncontrollable anger can trigger problems for yourself and those around you. This emotion cannot be avoided but can be controlled with the right anger management strategy.

The key to managing anger is recognizing your own emotional and physical reactions when you become angry, and then learning how to respond in a way that is healthy for yourself and will not harm others. Several anger management therapies can be done, such as cognitive restructuring, relaxation, and humor.

If you would like to see more resources on anger, visit the Personal Resilience Science Labs. The lab uses the research of the Institute for Life Management Science to produce courses, certifications, podcasts, videos, and other tools. Check out the Personal Resilience Science Labs today.

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