The line “When someone sees you as you really are and wants to be with you…that’s powerful.” from the 2000s masterpiece American drama TV show Six Feet Under is a strong take on the dimensions of relationships and having a partner. But what about nurturing that relationship between you and your partner? How to keep your relationship healthy and sparkling?
Dr. Megha Pushkarna is a Counseling Psychologist with 14 years of experience using CBT as a modality to support her clients. She provides counseling services in the areas of anxiety, depression, marital dissatisfaction, grief/post-traumatic stress, psychometric assessment, family therapy, career counseling for adolescents and adults, and habit coaching.
Her passion for learning drives her to seek solution-focused interventions for short-term therapies. She is empathetic towards cross-cultural sensitivity and queer relations. She invests herself in her clients, helping them seek clarity and navigate through their concerns.
In this episode hosted by Lu Ngo, Dr. Megha explained that happiness is subjective and varies for each person. It is a sense of well-being and fulfillment created daily through actions and mindset. She highlighted the misconception that happiness should be constant and derived from external factors, emphasizing the need to focus on what one can control and change.
Dr. Megha also discussed the importance of communication, accepting disagreements, and nurturing intimacy. She debunked misconceptions such as constantly pleasing each other, staying silent to avoid arguments, and relying on a partner for healing. She emphasized the need for trust, honesty, and continuous effort in maintaining a happy relationship while dispelling the notion that children alone can bring happiness to a relationship.
In addition, Dr. Megha stated that there are four main attachment styles: secure, anxious, avoidant-dismissive, and avoidant-fearful. Secure attachment is ideal, while anxious attachment leads to acting-out behaviors. Avoidant-dismissive attachment downplays the relationship, and avoidant-fearful attachment stems from fear and dependency.
Setting boundaries in a relationship is vital, said Dr Megha. It prevents manipulation and abuse. Absolute non-acceptance of abuse is essential as well. Clear boundaries contribute to healthy relationships.
Moving on, Dr. Megha provided insightful habits and relationship pillars that contribute to long-lasting fulfilling relationships, including but not limited to mutual respect, maintaining intimacy, and constant compliments.
Finally, Dr. Megha recommended a few practices that can keep your relationship on the road to steadiness and happiness, such as establishing a shared routine of daily walks or runs, sharing the load of household chores and responsibilities, and prioritizing uninterrupted time together without distractions.
Relationships are work and shouldn’t be taken for granted. By putting in the effort and working on aspects like communication, quality time, and intimacy, you can achieve a profoundly fulfilling and lasting connection!
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