It is common for adults to struggle with loneliness and have difficulty connecting with others, despite not talking about it much. Admitting that you need friends can feel awkward, and busy lives often push friendships to the back burner. So, how can you navigate these challenges and build the meaningful friendships? Let’s dive into some real talk about the struggles and solutions for making and keeping friends as adults with Dr. Mary Kempnich.
Dr. Mary Kempnich is a distinguished psychologist and researcher specializing in social networks and connections. As a conscious connection coach for high achievers, she helps individuals forge meaningful relationships with themselves, their work, and those around them.
Her passion lies in exploring how to navigate the complexities of a globalized world where opportunities for connection can often feel both abundant and elusive. Dr. Mary firmly believes that the key to a fulfilling and successful life is sharing it with loved ones, and she dedicates her work to enhancing these vital connections.
Originally from Germany, Dr. Mary has enriched her perspective through diverse cultural experiences. Her academic journey, including an exchange year in the US, a BSc at the University of St Andrews, and an MSc and DPhil at Oxford, has allowed her to form and cherish global friendships while staying connected to her roots.
Her research is driven by observing how new social environments foster personal growth and community building. This insight has also led her to integrate mindfulness into her work, focusing on both academic and personal development.
In this episode, Dr. Mary talks about a common issue of making and keeping friends, especially for busy adults. Since, an high achievers often see friendships as another task on their to-do list. Dr. Mary emphasizes that friendships are as crucial as romantic relationships. They require attention and care to thrive. Taking friends for granted can lead to losing these valuable connections.
She explains that friendships greatly impact your happiness and well-being. Happiness is not constant but involves contentment and growth. When you’re happy, you attract new friends, enhancing your overall happiness and creating a positive cycle.
Moreover, one interesting point Dr. Mary makes is about the difference between making friends as kids and as adults. As children, making friends is usually easy and happens naturally, even if you don’t speak the same language. But as adults, it gets harder.
Therefore, Dr. Mary offers some practical tips on how to make new friends without feeling too much pressure. She suggests starting with small talk and finding common interests, which can make conversations more enjoyable.
Additionally, giving personalized compliments and showing genuine interest in the other person can also help break the ice. She advises against compliments based on appearance, as they can sometimes be misunderstood. Instead, focus on shared experiences or interests, which can lead to a more meaningful connection.
The discussion also touches on the importance of prioritizing friendships, even when you’re busy. Dr. Mary shares her own strategy of setting up a weekly call with her best friend to stay connected. She mentions that shared activities, like playing sports or watching a show together, can be a great way to bond, especially for men who might not be into long conversations.
Finally, Dr. Mary talks about the value of appreciating the friendships you already have. She suggests easy ways to reconnect, like making a list of people you’d like to catch up with over lunch or sending a quick voice message. These small gestures can greatly improve your life and strengthen your existing relationships.
Ultimately, making and keeping friends as an adult can feel like a tough job. You might struggle with admitting that you need friends or finding time to keep up with them, and reaching out can sometimes be scary.
But here’s the thing: being intentional about your friendships and truly valuing them can make a big difference. It’s about making room for these relationships even when life gets busy and not letting technology or other distractions get in the way.
Appreciate the friends you have, and stay open to new ones. Friendships are key to a happy, fulfilling life, so don’t underestimate their importance.
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