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	<title>Nabil Muhammad Mukhlis, Author at Insights</title>
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		<title>How to Shop Safely Online</title>
		<link>https://insights.lifemanagementsciencelabs.com/how-to-shop-safely-online/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Nabil Muhammad Mukhlis]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 30 May 2023 10:10:46 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles - Household management]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Shopping Practice]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://insights.lifemanagementsciencelabs.com/?p=5509</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Online shopping has become increasingly popular over the years, especially with the growth of e-commerce.  shopping, consumers can purchase items from the comfort of their homes and have them delivered directly to their doorstep. It is convenient, saves time, and allows for comparison shopping. However, safe and efficient online shopping is important to avoid scams and protect personal information.  This article will discuss the best practices for safe and efficient online shopping and how to identify and avoid online shopping scams. Whether you&#8217;re an experienced online shopper or new to online shopping, these tips will help you shop confidently and</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://insights.lifemanagementsciencelabs.com/how-to-shop-safely-online/">How to Shop Safely Online</a> appeared first on <a href="https://insights.lifemanagementsciencelabs.com">Insights</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Online shopping has become increasingly popular over the years, especially with the growth of e-commerce. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">shopping, consumers can purchase items from the comfort of their homes and have them delivered directly to their doorstep. It is convenient, saves time, and allows for comparison shopping. However, safe and efficient online shopping is important to avoid scams and protect personal information. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">This article will discuss the best practices for safe and efficient online shopping and how to identify and avoid online shopping scams. Whether you&#8217;re an experienced online shopper or new to online shopping, these tips will help you shop confidently and get the most out of your online shopping experience.</span></p>
<h2><span style="font-weight: 400;">Tips for safe and efficient online shopping</span></h2>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Shopping online can save you money and time, but it&#8217;s essential to protect your personal data and ensure you get the best deals. </span><span style="font-weight: 400;">This section will review the best practices for online shopping, and by following these guidelines, you will have a safe and stress-free online shopping experience.</span></p>
<h3><span style="font-weight: 400;">Use reputable websites and apps</span></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Victims of </span><a href="https://bbbfoundation.images.worldnow.com/library/d2727fa5-c843-48f2-95aa-5e018bd7b39c.pdf"><span style="font-weight: 400;">online shopping fraud</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> lost $380 million in a single year, and 36% of online retail fraud begins with a bogus website. So before making any purchases online, ensure that your website or app is reputable. </span><span style="font-weight: 400;"> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">These look-alike websites attract customers because they offer popular hard-to-find items such as specialty shoes or electronics. Websites with secure connections will have an &#8220;https&#8221; in their URL, which indicates that the website has a secure connection and is safe for transactions.</span></p>
<h3><span style="font-weight: 400;">Look for secure payment options</span></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Credit cards are generally the most </span><a href="https://www.bankrate.com/finance/credit-cards/protect-your-data-with-new-secure-payment-methods/#online"><span style="font-weight: 400;">secure way to pay</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> for items online. Credit cards use online security features such as encryption and fraud monitoring to keep your accounts and personal information safe. Most issuers also provide zero fraud liability, ensuring you will not be held liable for fraudulent transactions charged to your credit card. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Avoid direct wire transfers, bank transfers, debit cards, and mailing cash or checks because they may not provide the same level of fraud protection. If you don&#8217;t want to give your credit card information to various retailers, you could use an online payment service such as PayPal or Google Wallet. </span></p>
<h3><span style="font-weight: 400;">Read product reviews</span></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Before making any purchases read product reviews from previous customers. This will provide insight into the quality of the product and the seller&#8217;s credibility. Be wary of sellers with limited or negative reviews. </span></p>
<h3><span style="font-weight: 400;">Compare prices</span></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">One of the benefits of online shopping is the ability to compare prices from multiple sellers. Use price comparison websites or apps to find the best deals. Also, be wary of prices that are significantly lower than the average, as they may be a sign of counterfeit products or scams.</span></p>
<h3><span style="font-weight: 400;">Check return policies</span></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Before making a purchase, check the seller&#8217;s return policy. Ensure that they have a clear and fair policy for returns and exchanges. Avoid sellers with restrictive or unclear return policies.</span></p>
<h3><span style="font-weight: 400;">Use discounts and coupons</span></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Take advantage of discounts and coupons offered by sellers. Sign up for newsletters or loyalty programs to receive exclusive offers and promotions. Be wary of deals that seem too good to be true, as they may be a sign of scams.</span></p>
<h2><span style="font-weight: 400;">How to avoid online shopping scams</span></h2>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Unfortunately, online shopping scams are on the rise, and it&#8217;s critical to understand how to recognize and prevent them. In this section, you will be able to recognize online shopping scams like phishing and how to protect yourself from fraud and other malicious activities. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">You can avoid becoming a victim of online shopping scams by being cautious about the risks and taking the necessary precautions. Here are the following tips:</span></p>
<h3><span style="font-weight: 100;">Recognize common scams</span></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Be aware of common online shopping scams, such as phishing e-mails, fake websites, and counterfeit products. Also, watch out for unsolicited emails or text messages that ask for personal information or provide links to unfamiliar websites. </span></p>
<h3><span style="font-weight: 100;">Trust your instincts</span></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If something seems too good to be true or makes you uncomfortable, trust your instincts and avoid purchasing. Be careful of sellers who pressure you to purchase or ask for personal information.</span></p>
<h3><span style="font-weight: 100;">Do not share personal information</span></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Expect to provide a payment method, a delivery address, a contact number, and an email address, but if the seller inquires about additional information, walk away. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">You should never give them your bank account number, social security number, or driver&#8217;s license number. Some companies will ask you questions about your interests, but these should always be optional, and you should be cautious about answering them.</span></p>
<h3><span style="font-weight: 100;">Use strong passwords</span></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">When creating accounts on shopping websites, use strong passwords that are difficult to guess. Things that need to be considered when making strong passwords are: never use personal information; make your password longer, at least six characters long; use a different password for each account; include numbers, symbols, and both uppercase and lowercase letters.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Avoid using words from the dictionary. Lastly, avoid using the same password for multiple accounts, and change your password regularly.</span></p>
<h3><span style="font-weight: 100;">Avoid clicking on suspicious links</span></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Lastly,</span> <span style="font-weight: 400;">avoid clicking on links in unsolicited emails or text messages, as they may lead to fake websites or malware. When in doubt, hover your mouse over the hyperlink text without clicking it; you should be able to see the full URL, which will help you determine that it leads to a legitimate website.</span><span style="font-weight: 400;"> </span></p>
<h2><span style="font-weight: 400;">5 Ways to enhance</span><span style="font-weight: 400;"> your online shopping experience</span></h2>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In addition to practicing safe and efficient online shopping, there are ways to enhance your overall experience. By following these suggestions, you can shop confidently and get the best value for your money.</span></p>
<h3><span style="font-weight: 400;">Sign up for loyalty programs and newsletters</span></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Many online sellers offer loyalty programs and newsletters that provide exclusive offers and promotions. By signing up for these programs, take advantage of these deals and stay informed about new products.</span></p>
<h3><span style="font-weight: 400;">Create wish lists</span></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Creating a wish list on an online shopping website or app can help you keep track of products you are interested in and monitor their prices. Some websites even offer price-drop notifications for items on your wish list.</span></p>
<h3><span style="font-weight: 400;">Use online shopping tools</span></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Take advantage of online shopping tools such as price comparison websites, coupon aggregators, and browser extensions that automatically apply for discounts and promotions at checkout.</span></p>
<h3><span style="font-weight: 400;">Take advantage of customer service</span></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If you encounter any issues or have questions about your online purchase, take advantage of customer service. Many online sellers offer customer support through e-mail, chat, or phone. Be sure to keep all communication and documentation related to your purchase.</span></p>
<h3><span style="font-weight: 400;">Leave product reviews</span></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">After making a purchase, leave a product review to help other shoppers make informed decisions. Be honest and provide detailed feedback on the quality of the product and your experience with the seller.</span></p>
<h2><span style="font-weight: 400;">In conclusion</span></h2>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Online shopping offers convenience and flexibility, but practicing safe and efficient shopping habits is important to avoid scams and protect personal information. Use reputable websites and apps to avoid scams, and trust your instincts. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Most importantly, do not share personal information, use strong passwords, and avoid clicking on suspicious links. By following these practices in this article, you can enjoy a safe and enjoyable online shopping experience.</span></p>
<p>If you would like to see more resources on shopping practices, visit the Household Management Science Labs. The lab uses the research of the Institute for Life Management Science to produce courses, certifications, podcasts, videos, and other tools. Check out the <a href="https://lifemanagementsciencelabs.com/labs/householdmgmt/">Household Management Science Labs</a> today.</p>
<p><a href="https://lifemanagementsciencelabs.com/labs/householdmgmt/"><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-3685" src="https://insights.lifemanagementsciencelabs.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/household-management-science-labs-e1663916909629-300x212.png" alt="household management science labs" width="300" height="212" srcset="https://insights.lifemanagementsciencelabs.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/household-management-science-labs-e1663916909629-300x212.png 300w, https://insights.lifemanagementsciencelabs.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/household-management-science-labs-e1663916909629.png 400w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /></a></p>
<p><em>Photo by Negative Space on Pexels</em></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://insights.lifemanagementsciencelabs.com/how-to-shop-safely-online/">How to Shop Safely Online</a> appeared first on <a href="https://insights.lifemanagementsciencelabs.com">Insights</a>.</p>
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		<title>Does the Marie Kondo Method Still Spark Joy?</title>
		<link>https://insights.lifemanagementsciencelabs.com/marie-kondo-method/</link>
					<comments>https://insights.lifemanagementsciencelabs.com/marie-kondo-method/#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Nabil Muhammad Mukhlis]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 17 May 2023 02:24:57 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles - Home organization]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decluttering]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://insights.lifemanagementsciencelabs.com/?p=5466</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Marie Kondo’s statement about embracing clutter has taken the internet by storm. Many have even come forward joking about the irony of the situation. This phenomenon has also triggered some netizens to express their skepticism toward her famous “KonMari” method of decluttering. The KonMari method has its challenges. The method had been criticized long before Kondo declared defeat — not only by other experts but also by the scientific community. However, it is essential to note that it has several redeeming qualities. By the end of this article, you will better understand the KonMari method. The article  offers insights to</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://insights.lifemanagementsciencelabs.com/marie-kondo-method/">Does the Marie Kondo Method Still Spark Joy?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://insights.lifemanagementsciencelabs.com">Insights</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Marie Kondo’s statement about embracing clutter has taken the internet by storm. Many have even come forward joking about the irony of the situation. This phenomenon has also triggered some netizens to express their skepticism toward her famous “KonMari” method of decluttering.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The KonMari method has its challenges. The method had been criticized long before Kondo declared defeat — not only by other experts but also by the scientific community. However, it is essential to note that it has several redeeming qualities.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">By the end of this article, you will better understand the KonMari method. The article  offers insights to help you decide whether the method is for you, especially as you embark on post-pandemic lives. </span></p>
<h2><span style="font-weight: 400;">What is the KonMari method?</span></h2>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The </span><a href="https://konmari.com/about-the-konmari-method/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">KonMari method</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> is a decluttering and organizing system developed by Marie Kondo, a Japanese organizing consultant and author. This method is based on keeping only the things that spark joy in your life and letting go of the things that do not. </span></p>
<h2><span style="font-weight: 400;">5 steps of the KonMari method</span></h2>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">This method has gained popularity worldwide due to its simplicity and effectiveness in creating a more organized and clutter-free home.</span></p>
<h3><span style="font-weight: 400;">Step 1: Commit to tidying up</span></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The first step in the KonMari method is to commit to tidying up your entire home. This means setting aside time to go through all your possessions and deciding what to keep and let go.</span></p>
<h3><span style="font-weight: 400;">Step 2: Imagine your ideal lifestyle</span></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Before you start decluttering, it&#8217;s important to envision what you want your ideal lifestyle to be. Doing so will help you determine which items truly bring you joy and which you can let go.</span></p>
<h3><span style="font-weight: 400;">Step 3: Discard first</span></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The third step in this method is to discard items before organizing them. This means going through each category of items in your home (such as clothing, books, and kitchen items) and deciding which ones you want to keep and which ones you want to get rid of. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">This is the “Does it spark joy?” question that Marie is famous for. The question acts as a filter for your items.</span></p>
<h3><span style="font-weight: 400;">Step 4: Organize by category, not location</span></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Once you have decided which items to keep, it&#8217;s time to organize them. This method recommends organizing by category (such as all clothing items) instead of by location (such as all the clothes in your bedroom closet).</span></p>
<h3><span style="font-weight: 400;">Step 5: Follow the order</span></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Finally, it&#8217;s essential to follow the order of categories when decluttering and organizing. Also, this method suggests starting with clothing, then moving on to books, papers, <em>komono</em> (miscellaneous items), and sentimental items.</span></p>
<h2><span style="font-weight: 400;">The pros and cons of the KonMari method</span></h2>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">All decluttering methods strive for the same goal: creating a clutter-free and less stressful space. Yet, homeowners should consider which method is good for them. In this section, you will find the pros and cons of the KonMari method to understand its relevance better.</span></p>
<h3><span style="font-weight: 400;">Pro: Household sustainability</span></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The biggest challenge to home organization and decluttering is overconsumption. Homeowners with irresponsible consumption behavior and/or hoarding tendencies will find themselves surrounded by clutter all the time.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The KonMari method has been known to </span><a href="https://sustainability.hapres.com/htmls/JSR_1356_Detail.html"><span style="font-weight: 400;">tackle</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> the issue of overconsumption. The method is not only encouraging homeowners to remove items that do not spark joy but also to adopt the minimalist lifestyle with as fewer possessions as possible. This way, the household will benefit from a clutter-free environment and unnecessary spending.</span></p>
<h3><span style="font-weight: 400;">Pro: Productivity</span></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Homeowners can quickly develop stress when surrounded by clutter, which can limit the brain’s capacity to </span><a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1470785321993743"><span style="font-weight: 400;">function</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> and may lead to </span><a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0272494421000062"><span style="font-weight: 400;">losing focus</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">. The absence of clutter can contribute to the overall satisfaction of the house and lead to better self-regulation. It is also noted that decluttering can increase confidence in </span><a href="https://dash.harvard.edu/bitstream/handle/1/37365612/HICKS-DOCUMENT-2020.pdf?sequence=1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">decision-making</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Additionally, the KonMari method offers a way to organize the house thoroughly and encourages living with a limited amount of possession. This way, the homeowners can limit the time to find their desired items and allocate their precious time to do something productive instead.</span></p>
<h3><span style="font-weight: 400;">Con: Environmental footprint</span></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Perhaps, the only practical con of the KonMari method is its negligence of responsible decluttering. </span><a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/frsus.2022.958538/full"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Research</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> has noted that the method emphasizes quick liberation of selfhood from items not sparking joy without caring about where the items end up. Irresponsible act of decluttering contributes to unused items polluting </span><a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/15327086211049703"><span style="font-weight: 400;">landfills</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In her </span><a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Bj9CF_0NH3-qh1aIWHoXlBsv53PQ-AA4/view?usp=share_link"><span style="font-weight: 400;">book</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, <em>The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up</em>, she never mentions where the unused items should end up and focuses more on rituals such as “thanking” the items for their services. Despite the good intention of achieving happiness, the method indirectly contributes to environmental pollution.</span></p>
<h2><span style="font-weight: 400;">Is the method still relevant post-pandemic?</span></h2>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">With the pandemic changing how everyone lives and works, it&#8217;s natural to wonder where the KonMari method stands today. Some may argue that decluttering and organizing homes is less of a priority amid a global crisis. However, if any, the pandemic has highlighted the importance of having a peaceful and organized living space. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Some people spend more time at home than ever; homes have become multi-functional spaces where they work, relax, and spend time with families. The KonMari method can be beneficial, allowing us to create a more meaningful living space.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">By looking at its advantages, this method is relatively relevant as long as the homeowners consider the environmental aspect of decluttering. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Instead of throwing all the unused items into landfills, homeowners can donate, reuse, or recycle them. Moreover, it is also beneficial for sentimental items to be gifted to relatives so that it still stays in the family.</span></p>
<h2><span style="font-weight: 400;">In conclusion</span></h2>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The KonMari method is an excellent way of decluttering, despite its disposal method. So, homeowners should be mindful of how they dispose of the items to protect the environment. And by following the responsible method of decluttering, homeowners can create a physically and mentally comfortable living space.</span></p>
<p>If you would like to see more resources on decluttering, visit the Home Organization Science Labs. The lab uses the research of the Institute for Life Management to produce courses, certifications, podcasts, videos, and other tools. Check out <a href="https://lifemanagementsciencelabs.com/labs/homeorganization/">Home Organization Science Labs</a> today.</p>
<p><a href="https://lifemanagementsciencelabs.com/labs/homeorganization/"><img decoding="async" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-3697" src="https://insights.lifemanagementsciencelabs.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/home-organization-science-labs-e1663919441624-300x212.png" alt="home organization science labs" width="300" height="212" srcset="https://insights.lifemanagementsciencelabs.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/home-organization-science-labs-e1663919441624-300x212.png 300w, https://insights.lifemanagementsciencelabs.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/home-organization-science-labs-e1663919441624.png 400w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /></a></p>
<p><em>Photo by RDNE Stock project</em></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://insights.lifemanagementsciencelabs.com/marie-kondo-method/">Does the Marie Kondo Method Still Spark Joy?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://insights.lifemanagementsciencelabs.com">Insights</a>.</p>
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		<title>Why &#8220;Talking It Out&#8221; as Conflict Resolution is Bad Advice (And What to Do Instead)</title>
		<link>https://insights.lifemanagementsciencelabs.com/communication-and-conflict/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Nabil Muhammad Mukhlis]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 29 Mar 2023 08:17:25 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles - Relationship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Emotional needs]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://insights.lifemanagementsciencelabs.com/?p=5263</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Alex and Maya had always been able to communicate well. But lately, they&#8217;ve noticed a strain in their relationship. Maya has been hinting that she needs more emotional support. When she tries to communicate her needs directly, Alex doesn&#8217;t fully understand and responds dismissively. Despite both partners trying to express themselves, the conversation becomes heated and hurtful, leaving them feeling disconnected. Effective communication is essential in any relationship but can be particularly challenging when addressing and resolving conflict. As demonstrated by Alex and Maya&#8217;s experience, poor communication can often make a difficult situation even worse, leaving both partners feeling hurt</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://insights.lifemanagementsciencelabs.com/communication-and-conflict/">Why &#8220;Talking It Out&#8221; as Conflict Resolution is Bad Advice (And What to Do Instead)</a> appeared first on <a href="https://insights.lifemanagementsciencelabs.com">Insights</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Alex and Maya had always been able to communicate well. But lately, they&#8217;ve noticed a strain in their relationship. Maya has been hinting that she needs more emotional support. When she tries to communicate her needs directly, Alex doesn&#8217;t fully understand and responds dismissively. Despite both partners trying to express themselves, the conversation becomes heated and hurtful, leaving them feeling disconnected.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Effective communication is essential in any relationship but can be particularly challenging when addressing and resolving conflict. As demonstrated by Alex and Maya&#8217;s experience, poor communication can often make a difficult situation even worse, leaving both partners feeling hurt and misunderstood.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Fortunately, some strategies can help navigate those hard conversations and improve relationships. After reading through this article, partners can learn to express their needs and concerns in a way that fosters understanding and mutual respect.</span></p>
<h2><span style="font-weight: 400;">How to communicate effectively during conflict</span></h2>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">While conflicts may be uncomfortable, they can provide valuable insights into improving relationships and becoming better individuals. Good communication is vital in resolving conflicts, allowing us to express our feelings, needs, and concerns. </span></p>
<h3><span style="font-weight: 400;">Set the right expectations</span></h3>
<p><a href="https://www.adarcohen.com"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Adar Cohen</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, an expert in conflict resolution, explains that the goal when having difficult conversations is to reach a solution, plan, or understanding. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">A solution is like a grand bargain, where everyone wins, and it resolves all the challenges. Although a bit ambitious, a solution usually causes new problems because it puts too much pressure on an already strained relationship.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">A plan is more realistic, and it&#8217;s like a map for finding a solution. It sets new boundaries, revised norms, and shared expectations for how to navigate the trickiest parts. Although it leaves the precise terms of the resolution open-ended, it provides a clear path forward.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Initially, it&#8217;s most realistic to focus on reaching an understanding. This means you both become aware of what the other person has experienced in the conflict. You appreciate each other&#8217;s needs, fears, and hopes. It is possible to achieve mutual comprehension, which can bring significant comfort and establish the groundwork for a strategy, a resolution, and a fresh rapport.</span></p>
<h3><span style="font-weight: 400;">Prepare for the conversation</span></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Imagine having a conversation with the person you need to talk to, and it goes amazingly well. You feel heard, and your concerns are addressed. If there&#8217;s something to apologize for, you receive an excellent apology. You reach an understanding that makes you confident about the future of your relationship. It&#8217;s not easy, but just imagine it! You feel relieved, lighter, and even grateful to the person you had a conflict with.</span></p>
<h3><span style="font-weight: 400;">Dig out the “Gem Statement” </span></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Cohen identifies a crucial key in successful conversations called a &#8216;</span><a href="https://psyche.co/guides/use-mediation-techniques-to-overcome-the-muck-of-blame-and-anger"><span style="font-weight: 400;">gem statement</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">&#8216; — an authentic expression of how you feel and has a positive impact on the other person. It&#8217;s a brief yet powerful statement made by one of the parties involved after actively listening, even if they strongly disagree. Gem statements are like precious gems found amid conflict and can lead to compromise, solutions, and goodwill. Finding a gem statement early in the conversation can reduce conflict time and increase positive outcomes.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> </span><span style="font-weight: 400;">Try to think about what&#8217;s really underneath the conflict. What&#8217;s true when you&#8217;re not feeling negative? Write down the first gem statement that comes to mind. For example, ‘</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">I can tell you care a lot about my well-being, and I have a lot of respect for you</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">.’ You know it’s a gem because you initially want to attach a grievance at the end.  Like this: ‘</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">I can tell you care a lot about my well-being, but how you go about it is annoying</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">.’ Don&#8217;t add a grievance at the end, but focus on the positive. If you find yourself doing this, leave it out for now.</span></p>
<h3><span style="font-weight: 400;">Ask yourself if you’re ready </span></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Before sharing your gem statement with the other person, ask yourself if you are genuinely prepared to express it. It can be difficult to be generous and kind when we feel like the other person doesn&#8217;t deserve it, and it can also make us feel vulnerable. But it&#8217;s important to remember that the temporary discomfort of sharing your gem statement will lead to lasting and profound benefits.</span></p>
<h3><span style="font-weight: 400;">Tell a friend </span></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">You don&#8217;t have to work on your gem statement with them or ask for advice; just share these four things with your friend:</span></p>
<ul>
<li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">What is your main feeling towards the person you need to talk to?</span></li>
<li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">How do you think the person feels toward you?</span></li>
<li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">What key message do you want to convey to them?</span></li>
<li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">What outcome do you hope to achieve from the conversation?</span></li>
</ul>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The fourth sentence — identifying your hope for the conversation — is essential for planning. Remember that reaching a mutual understanding is a valuable first step instead of aiming for a flawless resolution or strategy. This perspective can alleviate your pre-talk anxiety and provide comfort and positive reinforcement. Your friend might even be able to help you fine-tune your gem statement.</span></p>
<h3><span style="font-weight: 400;">Start the conversation</span></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">To start the conversation, exchange gem statements right away, either in person or via phone/video. It might feel uncomfortable, but it will bring relief. Follow your statement with: &#8220;</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">I say this because I think if we both really try, we can work this out</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">.&#8221; Afterward, ask your counterpart four questions: </span></p>
<ul>
<li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">How are you feeling now? </span></li>
<li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">What&#8217;s still in the way for you? </span></li>
<li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">What can I do to help? </span></li>
<li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Is there anything else you want to say to me?</span></li>
</ul>
<h3><span style="font-weight: 400;">Listen and talk</span></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Listening and speaking can be uncomfortable and difficult during conflict resolution. However, remembering the purpose of the conversation can help you keep listening. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It&#8217;s important to listen to the other person&#8217;s perspective, even if you disagree. Mediators have seen the powerful effect of listening, which can lead to resolution. When it&#8217;s your turn to talk, describe your experiences and emotions rather than listing faults. Filter your grievances and use your partner&#8217;s limited bandwidth efficiently.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Take a look at your gem sentences to see if there&#8217;s anything you&#8217;d like to share. Has something shifted since you filled them in? Share your thoughts and see if anything is happening in the conversation that reinforces your most significant hope.</span></p>
<h3><span style="font-weight: 400;">Finish neatly</span></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As you wrap up the conversation, ask each other: &#8220;</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">What&#8217;s changed for you as a result of this conversation?</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">&#8221; Take a moment to express gratitude towards the other person, even if it&#8217;s just a small gesture. What&#8217;s one thing you appreciate about your partner&#8217;s contributions to the conversation? Lastly, commit to moving forward. Be realistic and reach for progress. It’s okay for things to take a while. </span></p>
<h2><span style="font-weight: 400;">In conclusion</span></h2>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Before the conversation, sharing this article with the other person is a good idea. Even if you don&#8217;t follow the steps exactly or have the conversation right away, both of you reading the article and giving it some thought can be helpful. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If you do have the conversation, having the article beforehand means that the other person will also have had the opportunity to uncover a gem statement for you, which can help to reduce any feelings of vulnerability or discomfort.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Find your gem statement and consult a neutral third party to get support and relieve some anxiety. When you finally talk, keep calm and listen intently. Focus on emotions and avoid accusations. When you are almost done, thank them for their contributions during the conversation.</span></p>
<p>If you would like to take your reading further on emotional needs, visit the Relationships Science Labs. The lab uses the research of the Institute for Life Management Science to produce courses, certifications, podcasts, videos, and other tools. Check out the <a href="https://lifemanagementsciencelabs.com/labs/relationship/">Relationship Science Labs</a> today.</p>
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<p>The post <a href="https://insights.lifemanagementsciencelabs.com/communication-and-conflict/">Why &#8220;Talking It Out&#8221; as Conflict Resolution is Bad Advice (And What to Do Instead)</a> appeared first on <a href="https://insights.lifemanagementsciencelabs.com">Insights</a>.</p>
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