Jealousy is a tricky feeling that can make people doubt themselves, feel bad about how they look, and expect too much from relationships. But is it okay to be jealous? And how can you overcome jealousy to bring more love into your life and relationships?
Susie and Otto Collins are married soul mates and on a mission to share that relationships don’t have to be a struggle, whether you’ve been together for five months or 50 years. As certified Transformative coaches, authors, and speakers, they are passionate about making this world a more loving place by helping people understand how life and love really work.
Since 1999, they’ve taught practical, easy ways to find and keep passion strong and alive over the years, how to heal jealousy, communicate with love, openness, and compassion even when it’s tough, and how to stay connected even when life throws challenges your way.
Together, they are the authors of No More Jealousy, Magic Relationship Words, Stop Talking On Eggshells, Should You Stay or Should You Go, Relationship Trust Turnaround and many other programs.
In this episode, host Aditi Kutty was joined by Susie and Otto. The couple believes relationships are about spiritual growth, learning, and healing. They emphasized that relationships are not limited to romantic connections but encompass all interactions with people.
Also, Susie and Otto argue that relationships today offer more freedom and the opportunity to show up as one’s authentic self. They also highlighted the importance of questioning traditional roles and expectations in relationships and emphasized the value of being true to oneself to foster better connections with others.
According to the couple, jealousy results from fearful thoughts and beliefs that something or someone will be taken away from you. They debunk the idea of being a “jealous person” and emphasize that jealousy stems from the thoughts one chooses to believe and consider as reality.
They also describe extreme cases of jealousy involving constant phone checking, interrogating about conversations, and shifting blame onto the partner. However, they differentiate between violations of agreements and genuine jealousy issues. Susie and Otto suggested that jealousy serves as a wake-up call, indicating the need for self-healing and self-esteem work.
Lastly, Susie and Otto discussed a practice and habit that can help prevent or manage feelings of jealousy in romantic relationships. They mention a technique called “the work” by spiritual teacher Byron Katie, which involves asking four questions, including: “Is it true?”, “Can I absolutely know that it’s true?”, “How do I react when I think that thought?” and “Who would I be without that thought?” They highlight the power of this practice in bringing focus to the truth of one’s jealous thinking and promoting honesty with oneself and others.
In a romantic relationship, jealous thinking can lead to mistrust, breakdowns in communication, and a lack of authenticity. But you can overcome this through self-awareness, letting go of destructive patterns, and fostering healthy habits, which are crucial for personal growth and healthier relationships.
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