How to Share Caregiving Responsibilities for Aging Parents with Siblings

One way to show love to your parents who cared for you as a kid is to care for them as they grow older. But as it’s a labor of love, it can also become overwhelming if you handle it alone. If you have siblings, you’ll most likely split caregiving responsibilities among you. 

Caregiving has a lot of complexities in itself, and navigating them while coordinating with your siblings can add a lot more to the plate. Everything from differing opinions, managing schedules, or even financial situations can lead to friction or burnout in your relationship.

This article will provide practical strategies for navigating caregiving with siblings. By establishing clear communication and a good caregiving plan, you and your siblings can effectively share caregiving responsibilities while caring for your well-being.

Learn how to traverse the challenges of caring for your aging parents with your siblings and turn it into a more manageable situation. Explore and read the strategies provided in this article to build a stronger caregiving team.

Understanding caregiving responsibilities for aging parents

Caring for aging parents means you’ll likely have to juggle many things at once. And it takes a toll.

In 2020, studies show that 66% of caregivers have clinical symptoms of depression, and 30% of them have reported thinking seriously about suicide due to how stressful unpaid family caregiving is.

Some considerations when caring for your aging parents include:

• Medical management. This consists of scheduling appointments, coordinating with the healthcare provider, and/or managing medications for your aging parents. Managing all of these things is time-consuming and can strain mental health.
• Personal care. This includes assisting your parents with bathing, dressing, and/or mobility. As you take care of your parents, you may also notice that their health is declining, which can take a toll on your emotions.
• Financial planning. This includes managing your family’s bills, insurance, and long-term care options. Surprisingly, these things can cost a lot and require a sound financial plan.
• Household assistance. This includes cooking for your parents, cleaning, and maintaining your home.

All those factors may lead to conflict in your family due to unequal distribution, different availability, and opinions on the best course of action. 

Practices for sharing caregiving responsibilities with siblings

While caregiving for your aging parents can be too much on your own, some practices can help you share the caregiving responsibilities effectively with your siblings. These practices can create a more structured and collaborative approach to caregiving:

Preventing caregiver burnout

Taking care of someone daily can be a struggle. It is difficult to manage someone’s daily needs while ensuring your well-being.

All this can lead to caregiver burnout, and it can get serious. You can become exhausted, irritable, and even withdrawn.

Caregiver burnout can be prevented by implementing the following:

• Establishing a strong support system. Having good relationships between siblings is crucial. This can be done with a shared calendar, regular visits, and a clear communication channel.
• Building a structured schedule. Having a schedule is vital, but it must be practical and adaptable. The schedule needs to be realistic, with a daily and weekly plan that includes the caregiver’s dedicated needs while being flexible enough to handle unexpected situations.
• Providing emotional support. It is paramount for caregivers to seek and utilize emotional support. They should always ask for support from friends, family members, or caregiving groups, as well as professional support from counselors or therapists.

Assessing each sibling’s strengths and availability

As siblings, you should know each other’s strengths and weaknesses. Assess each other and identify strengths, skills, and availability that suit you and your siblings perfectly.

For example, maybe you’re better at handling financial stuff, while your sibling is a better caretaker. Based on this, you can adequately split responsibilities with your siblings, including caretaking and financial responsibilities.

How can you put this into practice? It needs some proactive communication and planning to do it correctly. Here is a simple step-by-step you can follow to make it work effectively:

1. Start with a conversation. Initiate a conversation by having a scheduled dedicated time to talk with your siblings. Choose a convenient time for all of you and have an open and honest discussion.
2. Discuss each strength and weakness. Share what you feel you are good at, and always be honest about whatever you need the most support with.
3. Assess availability and capacity. Be open about your current commitments and availability, such as work schedules or health complications that may impact your ability to contribute. Remember to be realistic about what you can offer to help.
4. Document everything. Record what you and your siblings have agreed upon. This can help ensure clarity and prevent misunderstandings while ensuring everyone feels comfortable and agrees with the plan.
5. Always schedule a periodic check-in. Discuss how your arrangement will address challenges and adjustments, ensuring everyone feels supported.

Creating a caregiving plan

Next, you and your siblings should consider a caregiving plan. You can develop a comprehensive plan with your siblings, outlining specific responsibilities, schedules, and financial contributions. This plan should include:

• Roles. What roles will you and your siblings take in caregiving for your parents?
• Detailed schedule. A full-on schedule of the caregiving responsibilities and tasks.
• Financial plan. Plan that helps you and your siblings care for medical expenses, home modifications, etc.
• Backup plan. An emergency plan for when something goes wrong or takes unexpected turns.
• Reviews. Regularly review the plan to ensure everything is perfect or needs adjustment.

Establishing open communication and conflict resolution

Communication is also essential when communicating with your siblings, as you may have different opinions on what’s best for your aging parents. Open communication is the best foundation for a conflict-resolution strategy, whenever needed.

When discussing caregiving with your siblings, always listen actively to their perspectives. Try to understand their concerns and viewpoints before speaking about your own.

Also, approach every discussion with empathy, as caregiving can create a lot of stress for everyone.

Lastly, establish a clear communication channel between you and your siblings through regular family meetings to help clear any caregiving issues. 

Exploring professional caregiving options

As much as you and your siblings want to take care of your aging parents all by yourself, you must realize that sometimes there are cases where it can’t be handled only by you or your siblings.

When that happens, there are professional caregiving options available, such as:

• In-home caregivers. A caregiver who will come to your home and help take care of your aging parents with their personal care, medication, and household tasks.
• Respite care. Short-term relief for caregivers by having a replacement caregiver for your aging parents.
• Assisted living. A place of living for people who need help by providing comprehensive care and daily needs.

Leveraging technology

Another thing that you can do to help take care of your aging parents more easily is to use technology. This can be done to help you have more transparent communication and coordination between you and your siblings. Some technologies you can adopt are:

• Messaging apps. Platforms like Discord or Slack can help you communicate, and they also have many valuable features, such as categorizing conversations. Many other apps, such as WhatsApp, Telegram, and Facebook Messenger, are widely used for easy communication.
• Shared calendars. Apps like Google Calendar and TimeTree can help create shared events or reminders. These can be useful because they allow you to coordinate your schedule with your siblings.
• Video calls. Use apps like WhatsApp, Zoom, Google Meet, or Skype to make video calls with family members far away.

Read more: Support Aging Parents From Afar Through Long Distance Caregiving.

In conclusion

Taking care of your aging parents with your siblings requires a lot of teamwork and empathy.

Having responsibilities shared equally through a well-defined plan ensures your parents get the highest level of care, protects your health, and fosters a stronger bond with your siblings.

You can ensure no conflicts between you and your siblings through a well-crafted caregiving plan and open communication. Start by openly discussing your plan with your family to create one that works for everyone.

If you would like to see more resources on sibling relationships, family caregiving, or aging, check out the Family Science Labs. The lab uses the research of the Institute for Life Management Science to produce courses, certifications, podcasts, videos, and other tools. Visit the Family Science Labs today.

Photo by Freepik