Articles - Family

How the Sandwich Generation Can Manage Role Conflict in Multigenerational Households

Have you ever struggled to balance the needs of your family’s aging parents and growing kids? Or have you ever lost sleep thinking about how to simultaneously afford college tuition and your parents’ medical needs? If your answer to all those questions is yes, then you might be part of the sandwich generation.

Living with both your children and aging parents means taking care of all of them simultaneously, juggling those responsibilities while also caring for your well-being.

The sandwich generation refers to a unique group of people with unique challenges. These can lead to role conflict in family life, stress, or even financial strain. 

In this article, you will learn more about the sandwich generation, its unique challenges and complexities, and effective practices for navigating them. Continue reading to learn how to manage role conflict while participating in the sandwich generation.

Understanding the sandwich generation

Who is the sandwich generation?

The sandwich generation is an ever-growing demographic driven by economic and family dynamics, such as longer lifespans, delayed childbearing, or economic pressure.

Research shows that 47% of Americans in their 40-50s are part of the sandwich generation, with characteristics such as:

  • Having a parent aged 65 or older,
  • Raising young children, or
  • Financially supporting a grown child.

This phenomenon involves individuals who must provide emotional, physical, and financial support to beloved parents and children.

Challenges faced by the sandwich generation

Being part of the sandwich generation presents many unique challenges. Thus, developing techniques to traverse this life stage is key to survival. But first, one must understand those challenges.

Read more: Generational Gaps in Multigenerational Families

Role conflict

Studies have found that being part of the sandwich generation can lead to a significant role conflict from juggling the demands of both generations.

Role conflict is when someone struggles to balance several roles, such as family and work.

Being a caregiver in the sandwich generation can cause confusion and stress. For example, while you’re trying to fund your children’s education, you also can’t ignore the medical needs of your aging parents. 

Or imagine how you have to be a daughter and a parent at the same time, trying to fulfill both of your responsibilities. You have to attend your son’s football game, but your mother must attend the doctor’s appointment.

All this can lead even further to guilt, resentment, and an overall sense of being overwhelmed.

Read more: Tips for Finding Balance Between Work and Family

Financial strain

As part of the sandwich generation, you must provide for yourself and the others you care for.

Supporting two dependent groups requires proportionately dividing the household budget. Dividing a single income for three generations strains it badly.

Some of the financial burdens you must consider are childcare costs, medical expenses for your aging parents, self-care expenses, and home renovation or maintenance needs. 

Emotional stress

Trying to balance everything leads to a huge amount of stress. Being part of this generation leads to stress that is more emotional than physical, such as unstable emotions, resentment, and sadness.

The emotional toll of this situation cannot be taken lightly. 

How to manage role conflict as part of the sandwich generation

Being part of the sandwich generation leads to a considerable amount of challenges that you need to overcome. You must know how to navigate those challenges for your well-being.

Navigating them properly reduces stress, improves quality of life, and strengthens family relationships. These practices also prevent burnout and ensure that you have the energy to care for your whole family. 

Establish clear roles and boundaries

Roles need to be divided evenly in a family. Open communication is vital for dividing the responsibilities of caregiving.

Boundaries will help prevent resentment in the family, and clear communication with them will avoid more misunderstandings regarding their roles and limitations.

You can take charge as a parent by organizing a family meeting to discuss roles and responsibilities. Divide tasks evenly according to each family member’s strengths and weaknesses.

In this meeting, you can also discuss boundaries on personal space, emotions, time, and finances, creating an equitable solution for everyone.

Prioritize self-care

Besides taking care of others, you also need some self-care. Being an adult in the sandwich generation comes with a higher level of stress, as balancing the needs of children and parents can often negatively affect you.

Who else will take care of it if not yourself? Your well-being should also be prioritized over the others. Being unable to care for others because you did not care for yourself will always be worse.

Always set time aside to take care of your well-being by doing things such as:

  • Eating healthy. Always maintain a healthy diet; whatever you fill into your body will be your fuel throughout the day.
  • Always having time for exercise. Half an hour of light daily routine can bring a lot to your body.
  • Keeping your hobbies. Whether you’re reading books, playing video games, painting, or gardening, keep doing them. Hobbies help you maintain your identity and give you the energy to take care of your family.
  • Getting plenty of sleep. Getting enough quality time to sleep will prepare you for the days ahead and prevent exhaustion.

Leverage community and support resources

There are a lot of community resources or services available that you can utilize to alleviate some of the sandwich generation burden, such as:

  • Elder care programs. Medicare and Medicaid can help you to take care of your elderly parents. These programs usually consist of healthcare coverage, financial assistance, and social support.
  • Childcare. Youth.Gov offers after-school programs that can help you care for your child. These programs usually include academic support, mentoring, and other positive youth development activities.
  • Respite care options. Short-term relief for caregivers, such as programs like ARCH National Respite Locator Service, can help you find respite care programs in your area that can help you take care of your family for a while.

You can also utilize caregiver support groups to help provide you with some valuable emotional support and practical advice.

Practice open communication

Open communication is always a good thing to have in a family. Family members should always be encouraged to openly and respectfully discuss their emotional, financial, and logistical challenges.

Open communication can help you balance your roles while dealing with internal conflicts.

This may lead to mutual understanding between you and your family, which could lead to joint strategies for managing the existing stress.

Plan financially for the future

Being part of the sandwich generation requires being prepared for the future. Thus, create a comprehensive and detailed financial plan that accounts for all your caregiving expenses.

Stuff like long-term care insurance and estate planning or strategies may be too much for you to handle alone, so you can always seek professional advice or help from financial advisors to manage those household expenses effectively and efficiently. 

In conclusion

Juggling your aging parents and children can be a pretty demanding task. All those things will surely leave you feeling stretched out and overwhelmed, but there is always a way out.

This article has offered you a lifeline through this challenging role. Start by describing the realities of being part of the sandwich generation, shedding light on your difficulties, and learning evidence-based strategies to tackle those difficulties.

Implement those strategies to not only survive but thrive. Find harmony in your multigenerational household and create strong and fulfilling relationships for everyone.

If you would like to see more resources on role conflict, check out the Family Science Labs. The lab uses the research of the Institute for Life Management Science to produce courses, certifications, podcasts, videos, and other tools. Visit the Family Science Labs today.

Photo by Freepik

Septiandry Khrisna Setiono

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