Rejection is terrible. That feelingof being rejected, neglected, avoided, or refused is almost universally avoided. The fear of rejection stops you from doing new things, having conversations with people, applying for jobs, and pursuing new relationships, just to name a few.
But it doesn’t have to be that way forever. Rejection is bad, but it’s also very solvable if you put your mind to it. That’s why this explores the psychology of the fear of rejection, and how to overcome it through something called “rejection therapy.”
If you fear rejection and it’s holding you back, continue reading. Rejection therapy could be the mindset change you need.
Rejection therapy is a self-directed practice designed to help you reduce the fear of rejection by facing it intentionally. Instead of avoiding situations where you might hear “no,” you place yourself in low-stakes scenarios where rejection is likely and learn to tolerate the discomfort that follows.
Fear of rejection is common, and it can quietly shape how you show up in relationships, work, and social life.
Research consistently links sensitivity to rejection with higher anxiety, reduced resilience, and difficulties with belonging. Over time, this fear can limit your willingness to take risks or advocate for yourself. Rejection therapy addresses this by building emotional tolerance.
James Comely developed the concept, but the idea gained popularity through entrepreneur Jia Jiang, who documented his challenge to seek rejection 100 times in 100 days after a failed startup.
His experience, later shared in a widely viewed TED Talk, showed that repeated rejection can reduce fear and even lead to unexpected learning and connection.
Rejection therapy psychology is rooted in the concept of facing your fears. It’s based on behavioral therapy, with a focus on exposure therapy and habituation. It doesn’t involve any form of medical treatment.
With repetitive exposure to the stimuli, the brain teaches your body that you can handle the experience of rejection. You learn that rejection is uncomfortable but not harmful. The goal is not to be accepted more often. The goal is to stay regulated, grounded, and self-assured even when you are not.
With time, rejection will feel only bad, but not dangerous.
Exposure to rejection makes the stimuli affect you more weakly, and your confidence increases. People who practice exposure therapy become more confident and less stressed or anxious.
Read more: Embracing Discomfort to Grow
Rejection therapy isn’t a medical treatment, but it has been backed up by research to reduce stress and anxiety. It helps build confidence and makes one feel braver and more decisive.
Why does this happen? Because the human brain can rewire itself. The brain’s ability to change or rewire itself is called neuroplasticity. According to Devi and Jagger (2025), neuroplasticity can help rewire rejections into less fearful, more comfortable experiences.
However, this might not work for clinical patients. In extreme situations, you’ll need a properly guided professional to help you cope with social anxiety. Rejection therapy works best as a personal growth activity or self-help guide for mild, non-clinical social distress.
Read more: How Exposure to Nature Reduces Anxiety and Depression
The 100-day challenge is a perfect example of real-world rejection therapy.
Jia Jiam feared rejection, so he sought to solve it himself. His personal experience overcoming fear became a self-guided therapeutic model in the United States. After being rejected on everyday tasks, this intervention helped desensitise him to his fear of rejection.
The 100-day rejection challenge is a list of 100 challenges with a high likelihood of rejection. These challenges are not harmful under any circumstances. For example, Jia aimed to be rejected from receiving a free sample, a free coffee, etc.
In some circumstances, people have even received a “yes” instead of a “no,” which can boost their confidence.
Rejection therapy looks different for everyone. What matters most is not how bold your requests are, but how intentionally and safely you approach the process. When practiced thoughtfully, rejection therapy becomes a practical way to build emotional resilience rather than a reckless push for discomfort.
If you want to try rejection therapy on your own, it helps to ground your approach in behavioral science. The steps below offer a structured, self-guided framework that keeps the practice ethical, gradual, and emotionally supportive.
Use these steps to design a rejection therapy challenge you can realistically sustain in everyday life.
Over time, this approach allows rejection therapy to blend naturally into daily life rather than feeling like a forced exercise.
Some people find it helpful to use structured tools to stay consistent. Cards, prompts, or mobile applications can make rejection therapy more interactive while reducing decision fatigue.
Rejection therapy decks and apps offer daily challenges, progress tracking, and reflection prompts that support habit formation. One example is Rejecto, an app designed to encourage small, repeatable exposure to rejection while emphasizing resilience over outcomes.
There are also structured challenges, such as 100-day formats, in which participants share experiences and reframe rejection as a successful attempt rather than a failure. These tools work best when used as guidance.
If you’re unsure where to start, simple ideas can help you ease into the practice. Here are beginner-friendly rejection therapy ideas you can adapt to your comfort level:
These are starting points, not rules. You can create your own challenges as long as they remain respectful and manageable. Each attempt counts, regardless of the answer.
Rejection can feel deeply personal because it touches your sense of belonging and acceptance. From a psychological perspective, the brain often interprets rejection as a social threat, which can trigger anxiety, self-doubt, or withdrawal.
It’s common to internalize rejection as proof that something is wrong with you. But emotional discomfort after rejection is not a failure. It’s a normal response.
To support yourself after a rejection, try the following:
Learning to process these emotions is just as important as the exposure itself.
Read more: How to Deal With Romantic Rejection
Fear of rejection keeps many people from speaking up, taking risks, or pursuing meaningful opportunities. Rejection therapy offers a practical way to loosen that grip by teaching you that rejection is survivable and temporary.
By starting small, progressing gradually, and reflecting on your experiences, you train yourself to stay grounded even when the answer is “no.” Over time, rejection loses its power to define you.
Start with a straightforward challenge today. Notice how you respond, not how others do. With consistent practice, rejection becomes less frightening and far less limiting—and that confidence carries into every area of your life.
If you want to see more resources on anxiety, check out the Happiness Science Labs. The lab uses the research of the Institute for Life Management Science to produce courses, certifications, podcasts, videos, and other tools. Visit the Happiness Science Labs today.
Photo by DC Studio on Freepik
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