Support Aging Parents From Afar Through Long Distance Caregiving

Your parents once nurtured and cared for you since you were a helpless baby, ensuring you had everything you needed to grow and thrive. Now, as they age and require support, the roles have reversed. But what happens when distance separates you?

Many adult children live far from their aging parents due to work, personal commitments, or other life circumstances. The miles between you turn caregiving into an emotional and logistical challenge. You worry about their health and happiness and whether you’re doing enough, even when trying your best.

But take heart. While challenging, caring for your parents from afar can be manageable. In this article, you’ll discover thoughtful insights and tips to provide your parents with the care they need, no matter how far away you are. Explore how to make a difference, even from a distance.

What is long-distance caregiving?

Long-distance caregiving is caring for people who live far away from their caregivers. Typically, the definition extends to caregivers who are more than one hour away from the care recipient, making the caregivers unable to have daily face-to-face contact. The recipients of long-distance caregiving are 65 years of age or older. 

Long-distance caregiving requires various forms of support: logistical, financial, and emotional. These three are essential for caregiving in general, although the added complication of distance distinguishes long-distance care from traditional caregiving.

To better understand this concept, examine the three forms of support frequently offered to elderly parents who live far away.

Logistical support

Despite the distance, family caregivers can still manage the practical side of things from afar, such as organizing and coordinating care for their parents. For example, you can do the following with the help of some basic technology:

• Schedule doctor’s appointments
• Arrange for in-home care services, and
• Order medical equipment, medicines, and other supplies needed, among others.

Financial support

With the elderly parents being mostly retirees, family caregivers can also help financially by covering medical bills, funding home modifications, or paying for caregiving services. For financial support, you may help in the following ways: 

• Managing finances, insurance claims, or paying bills
• Accessing financial assistance or benefits
• Finding, organizing, and updating important paperwork

This support is crucial, especially when ongoing care is needed to maintain the elderly parents’ well-being.

Emotional support

Emotional support also plays a key role in easing feelings of loneliness for both family caregivers and parents, especially given the physical distance involved. Constant interactions help maintain a sense of closeness and provide much-needed reassurance for elderly parents.

The unique challenges of long-distance caregiving

Before learning how to overcome all these obstacles, you must clearly grasp what you’re up against. Each family caregiver faces different challenges depending on the family dynamics, which falls into any of the following categories:

Coordinating medical care

This can be a tough job in long-distance care because you aren’t physically there to keep a close eye on your parent’s health. Some often depend on local caregivers or healthcare providers for updates, which can lead to missing details. 

Without firsthand knowledge of your parent’s condition, you can feel out of the loop and struggle to stay on top of things. These hurdles in communication affect the overall quality of care your parents receive.

Financial burden

Long-distance caregivers often struggle financially as they juggle the costs of providing care from far away.

For example, frequent travel to visit elderly parents quickly adds up, especially when you’re a considerable distance away. Many caregivers also pitch in financially to cover home care services, medical bills, or other essentials their parents need, straining their own budgets.

A study from MetLife shows that caregivers spend an average of $200 per month on caregiving expenses alone, with those living farther away often spending even more. This financial load creates extra stress as caregivers try to balance their financial responsibilities while ensuring their parents are well cared for.

It’s a tough part of long-distance caregiving that adds another layer of complexity to an already challenging role.

Maintaining emotional connections

Recent data from the University of Michigan National Poll on Healthy Aging reveals that in early 2023, 34% of U.S. adults aged 50-80 reported feeling isolated from others, highlighting a persistent issue of loneliness in this demographic since the pandemic years. The poll also found that loneliness was strongly associated with poorer physical and mental health among older adults.

This makes long-distance caregiving tougher for family caregivers. Because the elderly are vulnerable to loneliness, they must make their parents feel emotionally connected even while living apart.

While you can do your best to stay close through phone calls, video chats, and occasional visits, these can’t always replace the depth of in-person interactions.

Tools and resources for long-distance caregiving

Some tools can make a big difference in easing the challenges of long-distance caregiving. They step in when you can’t be there in person, provide support, and ensure your parents are cared for. Using the right tools helps your parents and gives you peace of mind. However, many caregivers don’t realize what’s available to them.

So here are some handy tools you’ll find to support elderly parents when you live far away from them: 

Technology for remote care

Since long-distance caregiving is essentially remote care, you can practically use technology to track their well-being. Here are some ideas for applications and devices for you to use: 

• Automated reminders. Staying organized can be challenging for caregivers, especially when juggling multiple responsibilities. Features like text alerts, emails, or caregiving apps can help. For example, apps like CareZone or Pill Reminder allow caregivers to send medication reminders.
• Assistive gadgets. Assistive devices can enhance independence and safety for aging parents. Depending on your parents’ specific needs, gadgets like Grabber Reachers can make it easier to pick up items, while utensils like Liftware stabilize hand tremors when eating. Each parent’s situation is different, so understand what devices would best enhance their comfort and quality of life.
• Telehealth. Virtual healthcare is a game-changer for caregiving, offering flexibility and timely access to medical care. With platforms like Amwell or Teladoc Health, you can schedule doctor appointments, attend consultations remotely, and even monitor vital signs from afar.

Key legal and financial planning documents

When it comes to long-distance caregiving, having the right legal and financial planning tools is crucial for managing everything from afar. Some key documents to have in place include:

• Power of attorney. This document gives you the right to make financial and legal decisions for your parents if needed.
• Health care proxy. This allows you to make medical decisions if your elderly parents are unable to do so independently.
• Living will. This document spells out your parent’s wishes for medical treatment, especially in difficult situations.
• Financial statements. To make managing finances easier, you should also gather financial documents showing your parents’ assets, debts, and income.

Having these tools in place helps you and your parents feel more prepared for present and future needs, smoothing the caregiving process even from a distance.

Support groups and counseling

These can make a huge difference in dealing with emotional stress when caring for aging parents from afar.

Support groups allow you to connect with others who understand what you’re going through. They are a safe space where you can share stories and learn tips without feeling alone.

Seeking counseling adds another layer of support. With professional advice, a counselor will help you work through tough emotions like anger, sadness, or being overwhelmed while also teaching strategies for coping with hardships.

Both options encourage you to open up, learn from others, and find new ways to handle the challenges of caregiving from a distance. You can ease some of the stress, feel more supported, and better care for your mental health.

Effective practices for long-distance caregiving

After understanding long-distance caregiving, its unique challenges, and the tools, it’s time to learn ideas for improving your parents’ care. Follow these practices to provide the best care, even from afar.

Build a local support network

A local support network is necessary for long-distance caregivers to ensure your parents get the help they need. Here’s how to pull it together:

• Find local resources. Look into senior centers, home health agencies, and community organizations nearby. These organizations can offer services such as meal deliveries, rides to appointments, or even just company for your parents.
• Get family and friends involved. Reach out to nearby family members, friends, or even neighbors. Let them know what’s going on and see if they can pitch in, whether for checking in or running errands.
• Set up a team. Collaborate with local helpers to take on different caregiving tasks. The team could include a core group of professional caregivers, nearby family members, and, when possible, friends or neighbors.

Read more: Be Happier by Learning How to Be a Good Neighbor

Establish clear communication channels

Setting up clear communication plays a crucial role in long-distance caregiving. Keeping it simple and consistent makes life easier for dividing tasks with other family members or the care team. Here are a few practical tips you can follow:

• Plan regular check-ins. Schedule calls or video chats — daily, weekly, or whatever works best. Having a routine makes everyone feel more connected and gives you all a chance to touch base.
• Share digital tools. Set up shared calendars to track medical appointments, meds, and other tasks so that everyone involved stays on the same page.
• Encourage open talk. Ensure your loved one feels comfortable sharing their feelings or if anything changes in their health or routine. Honest communication keeps things running smoothly.

Read more: Overcoming Blame Game: Fostering Healthy Communication in Personal Life

Schedule regular visits

Even though you live far away from your parents, visiting them occasionally is key to staying connected and monitoring their well-being. Here’s how to make those visits count:

• Figure out their needs. Before planning your trip, talk to your loved one about what they need or want from your visit. Consider their health, hobbies, and social activities, and ask how often they’d like you to visit.
• Make a visit schedule. Decide on a schedule that works for both of you, whether monthly, quarterly, or tied to special occasions like holidays.
• Make it count. While you’re there, focus on quality time. Have honest conversations, help with tasks they might struggle with, and look for any new concerns or needs.

In conclusion

Long-distance caregiving has its own set of challenges. However, using the provided tools and practices will improve your care for your loved ones despite any obstacles you may face.

Now, it’s up to you to implement these insights. Embrace them to support your aging parents and navigate the emotional ups and downs of caregiving from a distance. You’ve got this!

If you would like to see more resources on family caregiving, check out the Family Science Labs. The lab uses the research of the Institute for Life Management Science to produce courses, certifications, podcasts, videos, and other tools. Visit the Family Science Labs today.

Photo by Freepik