How Much Happiness Do You Really Need?

Have you ever thought, “Why is everyone else’s life so perfect?”

Nowadays, many people value success while ignoring hardships. Society often forces people to equate success with happiness, which can create unrealistic standards and ideals that lead individuals to pursue unrealistic goals.

But is this constant pursuit of happiness really necessary for a meaningful life? And exactly how much happiness do you really need?

This article explores the downsides of excessive happiness and highlights the importance of balancing it with purpose and meaning. Read more to rethink your relationship with happiness and find your purpose in life.

The concept of happiness and its limits

In today’s social media era, you see these highlight reels of people traveling to exotic places or celebrating promotions. Then, you may feel that your life isn’t exciting or successful enough.

Societal norms and cultural influences often shape how you perceive and pursue happiness. Many societal standards emphasize that everyone must be happy and that happiness is tied to external achievements. Yet, this pursuit of happiness, above all else, could make you feel gloomy or anxious.

Happiness is a state of well-being and contentment. It comes from embracing positive emotions and managing negative ones. Many studies have shown how this manifests. For example, the World Values Survey asked 118,519 respondents from 96 countries, “All things considered, how satisfied are you with your life as a whole these days?”

People who rated their life satisfaction at 8 or 9 out of 10 were considered moderately happy. These individuals tended to achieve higher income, better education levels, and greater political participation than those who were extremely happy (rating of 10).

People who rated 10 on the happiness scale were more likely to have strong relationships and actively engage in volunteer work. However, they were also found to earn less income, pursue less education, and participate less in politics than those with slightly lower happiness levels (8–9).

Individuals with extremely high happiness may feel too satisfied with their lives. This may make them less motivated to pursue other goals, such as academic achievements, more income, or social change.

But why does excessive happiness do this to people?

The downsides of excessive happiness

Consider food. While food is essential for your body, it can also be harmful if consumed excessively or improperly. Happiness may also become maladaptive and potentially dangerous when overabundant, misplaced, or pursued inappropriately.

Being too happy means experiencing extremely high levels of positive emotion while having little to no negative emotions.

If you are 100% happy, you might stop trying to improve yourself. You feel like you don’t need to work hard or learn new things because you already have it all, leading to complacency.

Clinically, individuals experiencing mania — a state of extreme happiness — often exhibit impulsivity, poor decision-making, and an inability to recognize potential dangers. This will lead to riskier behaviors, such as substance abuse, binge eating, and reckless driving.

Besides, constantly pursuing more happiness can set unrealistic expectations, making it impossible to feel satisfied with what you already have. It can also encourage hedonistic tendencies.

For example, you buy a new phone. After a few weeks, the excitement fades, and you start longing for the next upgraded model. This will be a cycle that keeps you chasing happiness without ever feeling truly satisfied.

The psychology of happiness and moderation

When the need for happiness becomes a never-ending goal, it can backfire. People who overvalue it often feel disappointed and frustrated when reality fails to meet their idealized standards.

The more people focus on being happy, the harder it becomes to feel happy.

So, what’s the solution?

Moderate happiness is a balanced level of well-being that allows individuals to experience both satisfaction and space for improvement.

The optimal happiness level for each person depends on their situation. Significant factors affect it, such as their resources, the problems they face, the area of life they consider, and the kind of well-being they focus on.

The key difference between moderate and extremely high happiness is motivation and engagement.

In essence, the best level of happiness is the one that keeps you striving for further success. Therefore, it becomes essential to find a good balance.

Practical tips for cultivating balanced happiness

Finding balanced happiness means aligning with your values and meaning in life. That’s why it’s important to have actionable steps that are easy to implement in your daily activities. Here are some practical ways to create a balance of happiness.

Focus on meaningful goals

Goals provide a sense of purpose and foster intrinsic motivation, making the journey more fulfilling. So, prioritize goals that align with your values and contribute to your personal growth or community.

But how do you find meaningful goals in your life?

You can try these steps.

Identify what truly matters to you. It can be family, growth, community, or adventure.
Reflect on your passion. Do activities that make you feel energized and capable.
Engage in self-discovery. Seek feedback from trusted friends to help uncover what resonates deeply with you.
Consider how your goals could contribute to others. Helping your community often brings meaning to life.

Once you find your purpose in life, start small, reflect on whether these goals align with your values, and adjust them as needed.

Practice gratitude

Happiness involves both wanting what you have and having what you want. Don’t forget to reflect on the small moments and things you already have.

Appreciate them instead of constantly chasing bigger achievements or fleeting highs. Therefore, you can cultivate a sense of contentment and balance

Try these prompts to practice by mentioning what you are grateful for.

I am grateful for these three things in my house
I am grateful for these three people
I am grateful for these three moments

Embrace a range of emotions

Recognize that sadness, frustration, and life’s challenges are natural and offer valuable growth opportunities. Pay attention to life’s ups and downs. By finding ways to manage daily stressors, you can enhance your mental well-being.

These are the steps:

Practice self-awareness. Observe how you are feeling throughout the day.
Label your emotions. Name specific emotions (sadness, anger, frustration, joy)
Acknowledge that all emotions are valid, even the unpleasant ones. Say to yourself, “It’s okay to feel this way,” or “This feeling makes sense given the situation.”
Respond with intention. When facing challenges, take time to calm down and then decide your action.

Avoid overloading on positivity

Positivity may inspire motivation, but setting overly idealistic expectations may lead to frustration. A realistic approach helps maintain resilience and keeps you grounded as you work toward your goals.

For instance, you have a goal to improve your fitness. Aiming to work out for three hours daily despite your busy schedule is unrealistic.

A realistic, actionable step is to start with 30-minute workouts three times a week and gradually increase them as you build the habit.

Now, begin creating your plan to make it happen!

Learn more: Emily P.G. Erickson: The Paradox of Positivity — Balancing Support & Emotions | Sero Boost #40

Foster deeper connections

Building stronger relationships that enrich your life with happiness and eternal life can start with small steps. You can initiate by actively listening during conversations, showing genuine interest in others’ experiences, and dedicating quality time to strengthen bonds.

For instance, set aside a regular time each week to catch up with a close friend or participate in activities you both enjoy.

In conclusion

Chasing too much happiness can create unrealistic expectations and lead to dissatisfaction. Imagine chasing happiness like running after a butterfly. When you think you’ve caught it, it slips away. The more you chase, the more exhausting it becomes.

But, when you sit still and focus on what truly matters, that butterfly may just land beside you. True fulfillment doesn’t come from endless joy but from experiencing happiness in moderation as a byproduct of finding purpose in life.

Rather than endlessly chasing happiness, invest in what brings true meaning. Grow your personal quality, connect with your circle, and impact society. In doing so, you’ll discover that happiness isn’t something to pursue. It’s something that finds you along the way.

This moderate happiness will help you cultivate sustainable well-being and live a more meaningful life.

Now, free yourself from the pressure of constantly seeking happiness. Let your happiness naturally follow.

If you would like to see more resources on meaning in life, check out the Happiness Science Labs. The lab uses the research of the Institute for Life Management Science to produce courses, certifications, podcasts, videos, and other tools. Visit the Happiness Science Labs today.

Photo by gpointstudio on Freepik

valendra.inaya