Do you keep making the same irritating mistakes with money? Do you find yourself buying things to make yourself feel better or avoiding your bank statement out of anxiety?
These aren’t just budgeting mistakes; they’re often signs of deeper money issues such as compulsive spending, chronic avoidance, guilt, and anxiety. These behaviors can affect your relationships and work and create a constant undertone of stress. In fact, many people struggle to manage financial problems.
Worse, traditional financial advice often misses the mark because it focuses only on the numbers, not the deeper emotions and beliefs the shape behavior. But don’t worry, there’s a way out. This article discusses how financial therapy and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can uncover and, eventually, change long-held money behaviors. By addressing both the financial and emotional roots, you can then break the pattern.
See how to release yourself from toxic money behaviors and create a more empowered, healthy relationship with money.
Financial literacy, knowing how to manage money, budget, save, and invest it appropriately, is an important asset.
However, simply knowing is often insufficient because it does not address the underlying emotions, beliefs, or financial experiences that drive compulsive spending or avoidance. The first step to lasting change is understanding the tools available.
Addressing these deeper, non-budgeting issues requires an integrated solution. One that combines behavioral science with financial expertise, a combined approach of financial therapy and CBT.
Financial therapy is an emerging practice that combines financial planning and mental health counseling. Financial therapy helps individuals understand and change their financial behaviors by examining the thinking, feeling, and relational factors that may underlie them.
A financial therapist, or “money therapist,” does not simply tell you how to create and stick to a budget. Rather, they help you discover why you struggle to adhere to one. This is key to addressing complex, money-related disorders and ultimately leading to long-term financial well-being.
In helping clients move past “quick fix” solutions, financial therapy supports the development of true financial wellness, defined as a sense of security, reduced financial stress, and confidence in managing one’s economic life, which contributes to overall psychological health and well-being.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a well-established psychological treatment with empirical evidence supporting its efficacy. The premise of CBT is that your thoughts (cognitions), feelings, and behaviors are interrelated.
Negative or distorted thinking may result in harmful behaviors and/or emotional distress. In money-related issues, CBT will assist you in identifying your “money scripts,” the unconscious, often core beliefs about money that were formed since childhood, and reframe them.
For example, with a belief such as “money is the root of all evil,” a person may block themselves from wealth-building and engage in self-destructive behaviors.
Combining financial therapy and CBT offers a complete strategic plan for transformation. This method relieves the emotions that deeply affect a person and the practical side of money disorders. You attain a full sense of personalized financial wellness.
Common money disorders treated through this integrated approach include:
A financial therapist will conduct this process for you. They will offer a supportive space for you to explore your money history and identify the money scripts shaping your behaviors. Working through these scripts can reduce distress and improve your financial decision-making. This helps you understand the emotions that surface around spending, saving, or debt.
CBT enhances this work by giving you tools to reframe automatic, negative thoughts that lead to unhelpful financial patterns.
You may learn to shift beliefs like “I’ll always be in debt” into more flexible and constructive perspectives. Programs such as Space From Money Worries demonstrate how CBT-based methods effectively reduce financial stress. In practice, CBT provides structure and accountability, strengthening the emotional insights gained through financial therapy.
The use of financial therapy and CBT together uncovers the emotional roots of your money behaviors. Meanwhile, you can change the thoughts and behaviors that continue to shackle you financially to help achieve financial well-being.
In this section, you will learn how to manage money issues on your side. Recognizing the patterns that hold you back is the first step toward financial clarity and emotional empowerment. These strategies draw on principles from financial therapy and cognitive-behavioral approaches, offering practical tools you can apply.
Though keep in mind that no technique can replace working with a qualified professional when money issues become severe or begin to affect your daily life. A money therapist, a certified financial therapist near you, or financial counseling for couples near you can provide structured guidance and long-term support.
The methods described here are meant to complement the tools you learn in formal therapy or serve as gentle solutions for milder financial challenges. Here they are.
Money disorders are persistent, predictable, and often rigid patterns of self-destructive financial behavior. It causes significant stress and anxiety in your life. Money issues rarely come from the numbers alone and often grow from past experiences or old beliefs about worth, spending, or security.
CBT’s role is to shine a light on the automatic thoughts or patterns of these disorders, “I deserve this,” “It’s too complicated to deal with,” or “I’m a failure with money” that trigger these destructive cycles. You may have them, or someone you know may need help, so this first step is essential.
To equip you better, here are some examples of disorders:
Compulsive spending
This is when shopping becomes an escape.
A suffocating guilt often follows the emotional high of buying something new. It is a cycle of emotional spending that erodes your ability to heal financially. You may even end up in debt and/or in a financially conflictual relationship.
Most end up needing financial therapy and/or couples financial counseling.
Financial avoidance
Financial avoidance is when you ignore bills and even your financial statements.
You may visualize your bank account and feel a sinking feeling in your stomach, so avoidance is a coping mechanism. It creates an even larger financial monster, a debt spiral, as payments are missed and you end up in collections.
It is not uncommon to seek counseling when this pattern of avoidance affects your shared financial responsibilities with a partner.
Financial enabling
Financial enabling occurs when you step in and shield someone from the consequences of their financial decisions.
It is a role people take on for others, so financially and emotionally draining that it requires financial therapy. The person you support may become economically dependent and burn you out.
It results in both of you lacking the financial skills needed to maintain independence.
Monitoring your spending will help you become more financially responsible and resilient by understanding the emotional patterns behind your spending.
In money therapy, money therapists call that concept “Trigger Tracking,” an emotion-focused strategy to identify the emotional, situational, or contextual triggers behind potential financial disorders.
Instead of trying to remember how you felt before an impulsive purchase or an unplanned meal, Trigger Tracking recommends contextualizing the situation and writing it down.
Over time, this will help you identify the influence of certain factors on spending. This is the strategy that is most frequently used in financial therapy, particularly with couples where both have money issues or need to work on money disorders together.
To help you incorporate Trigger Tracking into your day-to-day life, here is a three-step plan you can adapt:
Doing this consistently shows how moments of awareness of finances, of the behavior patterns, can be used to begin undoing negative cycles. This can be done individually or with financial counseling for couples, to improve financial decision-making from an emotionally healthy and aware place.
Read more: How Financial Literacy Improves Financial Well-Being
Unreasonable goals frequently compound feelings of failure and magnify financial distress. Consider focusing on smaller, manageable financial goals. This can help create momentum and make the process potentially less daunting.
For example, you can save a tiny fixed amount of $20 every week. You can plan a short, 15-minute money conversation with your partner, free of any conflict. You can schedule a 1-hour financial wellness check every month.
Each completed goal will build confidence in your ability to accomplish goals and further reinforce positive financial behavior. This practice of regularly accomplishing smaller wins is a key aspect of developing financial resilience.
Financial resilience means being able to weather setbacks without resorting to past destructive behaviors. Studies on goal-setting theory confirm that specific, challenging, yet attainable goals lead to higher performance.
Read more: How Healthy Financial Habits Foster Financial Well-Being
When financial stress kicks in, the front part of your brain, the part in charge of reasoning, might decide to take a break. Mindfulness and CBT exercises can help you regain control, which is crucial for coping with money problems. Here are some exercises you can do:
The 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique
This exercise is helpful when you first notice that you are starting to panic about a financial issue.
Step-by-step guide:
This exercise pulls your attention away from your anxious thoughts and focuses on the present.
Cognitive restructuring
This exercise is helpful for negative, doomsday, and money-related thoughts. Here’s how:
Repeat these exercises whenever the original concern returns.
When you combine cognitive reframing with grounding exercises, you equip your mind with the skills to stay composed, think more clearly, and make better financial decisions, even during difficult times.
Read more: How Work-Life Balance Influences Your Financial Prosperity and Happiness
Money problems aren’t just about bad math skills. They stem from emotional and behavioral issues that are often stored in the subconscious mind. A spreadsheet can’t heal your money wound, and a budget can’t stop anxious thoughts.
When you combine the exploratory skills of financial therapy with the strategies from CBT, you can do more than manage your money. You can start uncovering the root of your money conversations.
You can then rewrite your money story and shape a healthier financial identity. Then, you can focus on building the behaviors that support long-term financial security. If you’re considering financial therapy, that step matters.
But remember, your progress doesn’t end there. Start applying the insights and strategies you’ve learned in this article, and start your journey to a healthier financial future today.
If you want to see more resources on money disorder, check out the Personal Resilience Science Labs. The lab uses the research of the Institute for Life Management Science Labs to produce courses, certifications, podcasts, videos, and other tools. Visit the Personal Resilience Science Labs today.
Photo by Freepik
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