What the Netflix Miniseries “Adolescence” Teaches Us About Emotional Neglect in Boys

Emotional neglect in boys often goes unnoticed, but its impact runs deep. Boys raised amid emotionally unavailable parents or by an emotionally distant father may internalize pain instead of expressing it. Long-term effects can include emotional suppression, behavioral challenges, and heightened vulnerability to harmful ideologies.

Netflix’s Adolescence brings this reality to life through Jamie, a teen whose emotional needs are consistently unmet. His story shows how emotionally distant parents, especially an emotionally unavailable father, shape his identity, responses to stress, and search for belonging.

This article unpacks how emotional neglect in boys, especially during adolescence, impacts mental health and social risk factors. It draws on Jamie’s journey to surface research-based insights and practical guidance for those focused on parenting boys through adolescence.

Take a moment now to reflect: could your emotional availability help anchor a boy in your life? If yes, then keep reading.

What emotional neglect in boys looks like

Understanding emotional neglect in boys is essential if you have boys in your life.

Its signs tend to unfold through behavior rather than words. Studies indicate that emotionally neglected boys often show more externalizing behaviors, like defiance or risk-taking, versus withdrawal, which is seen more commonly in girls. These signals include anger, numbness, or emotional shutdown.

Jamie in Adolescence embodies these patterns: he retreats, loses interest in once-loved activities, and grows increasingly detached. His father is physically present but emotionally absent; one of the emotionally unavailable parents who offer only cursory check-ins rather than emotional connection. This deepens Jamie’s sense of isolation.

This unintended, yet profoundly impactful emotional neglect affected him deeply and is one of the main lessons that the series aims to convey. Read more on this below. 

The impact of emotionally unavailable parents

Children raised by emotionally unavailable fathers or self-involved parents don’t lack care, but they lack emotional attunement.

For example, a study suggests that the quality of the bond between a father and child may help a child better manage their emotions. This study demonstrates that higher-quality father-child attachment is associated with improved emotion regulation skills in children.

Specifically, stronger attachment between fathers and children at earlier time points predicted higher levels of children’s ability to regulate their emotions later on.

Jamie’s father is a good example of this. His physical presence masks his emotional distance, teaching Jamie to be quiet rather than express himself. This makes Jamie less emotionally strong and less able to use words.

Why neglected boys are vulnerable to online radicalization

When boys lack a father-son emotional connection, they may turn to online spaces for validation. 

Research shows that neglected boys are especially vulnerable to online radicalization, precisely because extremist groups prey on emotional loneliness.

A 2020 study published in Group Processing and Intergroup Relations found that social exclusion is a leading driver of radicalization; individuals who feel unseen or rejected are more likely to be drawn to extremist narratives that promise belonging and clarity.

These vulnerabilities are magnified for boys raised by emotionally unavailable parents or an emotionally distant father. Without emotional safety at home, they may fill the void online, seeking acceptance, identity, and purpose in spaces that readily supply them, albeit with dangerous ideology.

For example, digital spaces such as the “manosphere” (including “incel” forums) offer precisely the identity and community that emotional neglect denies. A 2022 analysis of Reddit communities found that even minimal exposure to manosphere content significantly shifts users’ language and outlook, steering them toward radical attitudes. 

These aren’t abstract risks; they’re real pathways exploiting emotional isolation.

Neglected boys may land in echo chambers that validate anger, mistrust, or extremist ideology, feeding cycles of emotional disconnection and reinforcing the very isolation they’re trying to escape.

Once radical narratives invade that emotional void, it can become irreversible.

How to overcome emotional neglect in boys

It doesn’t require grand gestures to reverse emotional neglect in boys. It’s rooted in steady, science-backed practices that signal, “Your emotions matter. You are understood.”

Here are actionable, scientific insights you can implement for the boys in your life.

Be emotionally present, not just physically there

Being physically available while emotionally absent is an empty experience.

If you’re distracted by work emails at dinner, or quick to change the subject when he brings up feelings, boys will interpret that as disinterest. Emotional presence means tuning in, not just showing up.

Instead, do these:

• Practice active listening. Listen to them when they are talking. People appreciate feeling listened to, not just boys, so this is generally good practice. Maintain eye contact with him and respond thoughtfully, rather than rushing to offer solutions.
• Offer them attention. Use validation (“That sounds really painful“) over dismissal (“Don’t be dramatic“). Boys’ emotions are often dismissed, teaching them to be “tough,” but emotionally stunted.
• Converse with them. Engage in shared, low-pressure activities, such as a walk or a game, to create opportunities for conversation naturally.

In practice, this looks like putting away your phone during a car ride, asking follow-up questions when he shares something small (“You mentioned soccer practice was tough; what happened?“), or validating his frustration instead of minimizing it.

Even a brief acknowledgment like, “That sounds really disappointing,” tells him his feelings matter. Over time, these micro-moments accumulate into emotional trust.

Model emotional expression and resilience

Boys learn how to be strong by observing others’ emotional strength through their own actions. 

Tell them how you dealt with anger, fear, or embarrassment and how you got back on your feet. Demonstrate that anger can be effectively managed. Modeling emotional regulation provides parents who aren’t emotionally available with a framework they often lack.

Try narrating your experiences: “I was nervous before my work presentation today, so I practiced deep breathing to calm down.” This shows boys that fear is a natural and manageable emotion. 

Demonstrating healthy anger is equally important; for example, pausing before responding in a heated discussion instead of yelling.

Build a consistent connection and trust

Reliability builds safety. Boys need to know you’ll show up, not only when they succeed but also when they stumble. Consistency creates the foundation that helps them mitigate risk vulnerability. Here are some practices you can try:

• Establishing rituals. Practicing rituals such as bedtime chats, weekend breakfasts, or cooking together is essential for maintaining a strong bond.
• Connecting with them. Don’t just talk or greet perfunctorily. For example, ask open-ended questions like, “What part of your day stood out?” instead of “How was it?“
• Always noticing. Noticing small moments: praising effort, seeing his mood shifts.

Daily rituals are one way to create this safety net.

Bedtime chats, Sunday breakfasts, or even a shared hobby like gaming form predictable anchors in a boy’s routine. These routines send the message: “I’m here for you, always.” For boys like Jamie, whose emotionally distant parent never asks or notices, these moments of reliability can feel like a lifeline.

In conclusion

Jamie’s experience in Adolescence may be fictional, but the forces he represents are fundamental. Emotional neglect in boys is subtle yet powerful: it can lead to identity confusion, emotional shutdown, and dangerous external influences.

But change is possible. By choosing emotional presence over performance, vulnerability over avoidance, and small rituals over grand declarations, you can rewrite a boy’s trajectory.

Parenting boys through adolescence with empathy and consistency creates a foundation that counters neglect. Your emotional availability, rather than control, is what steadies them when the world feels unsteady.

Start today by making one small gesture of presence or validation. That connection can be the turning point.

If you want to see more resources on adolescent development, check out the Parenting Science Labs. The lab uses the research of the Institute for Life Management Science to produce courses, certifications, podcasts, videos, and other tools. Visit the Parenting Science Labs today.

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