Duygu Balan, LPCC, LMHC: The Role of Compromise in Marital Disagreements | All Together #61

Compromise is an essential component of any successful marriage, but it’s often misunderstood and can be challenging to implement effectively. In this article, you’ll explore expert insights on mastering the art of compromise in marriage, with a focus on improving communication and strengthening relationships.

Meet Duygu Balan, LPCC, LMHC

Duygu Balan, LPCC is a licensed psychotherapist specializing in familial and intergenerational trauma, and attachment wounding. She is a PACT (Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy) Level II trained couples therapist, and a certified clinical trauma professional.

Duygu is the first author for “Re-Write: A Trauma Workbook of Creative Writing and Recovery in Our New Normal”. She is a regular contributor at Psychology Today, and has been featured on CNN, The Washington Times, MSN, Cooper, Mentally Stronger Podcast, Medium, Warm 106.9, The Good Men Project, Attachment Theory Podcast, Authority Magazine, J & Courtney’s In it Together Podcast, and When Women Inspire.

Duygu incorporates existential, relational, and humanistic theories and utilizes mindfulness and somatic techniques. She draws from her multicultural upbringing and embodies teachings from her background in dance, yoga, and writing. She believes in the healing power of humor, creativity, and authentic human connection.

About the episode

Compromise is often viewed negatively, as it is associated with settling for less or giving up something important. However, licensed psychotherapist Dugyu Balan offers a more positive perspective:

“I usually go with something along the lines of mutual negotiation or conscious sacrifice because I feel like it’s really important to have the sense of willingness. Compromise sometimes may feel for people like it’s this unwilling having to give up things.“

Instead of viewing compromise as a loss, it’s helpful to reframe it as a mutual agreement that benefits the relationship as a whole. The key is for both partners to feel that the agreement is worthwhile and that any sacrifices made are balanced by the overall gains for the relationship.

While every couple is unique, some common challenges arise when trying to reach compromises:

Differing communication styles
Unequal willingness to compromise
Emotional reactions to sacrifices
External pressures and expectations
Underlying relationship issues

Sometimes, couples may benefit from seeking outside support to facilitate compromise and improve communication. Couples therapy can be particularly helpful in this regard. A therapist can provide tools and strategies for effective communication, help identify underlying issues, and offer an impartial perspective on conflicts.

Ultimately, successful compromise in marriage comes down to intention. Both partners must feel that they are working towards a shared goal and that their needs are being considered. When both partners approach compromises to strengthen the relationship and support each other’s well-being, it becomes a powerful tool for building a lasting, fulfilling marriage.

In conclusion

Mastering compromise in marriage is an ongoing process that requires patience, understanding, and consistent effort from both partners. By focusing on effective communication, acknowledging emotions, and maintaining a willingness to work together, couples can navigate disagreements and build stronger, more resilient relationships.

Remember that every relationship is unique, and what works for one couple may not work for another. The key is to find approaches that resonate with your specific situation and values. With practice and dedication, compromise can become a powerful tool for deepening your connection and creating a fulfilling, lasting partnership.

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