Grief is a universal human experience, yet the way an individual processes and copes with loss can vary greatly from person to person. Understanding grief and developing resilience are crucial skills for navigating life’s challenges.
Ali Mills, BHlthSc (Psych), MCouns, MACA, is a Registered Counsellor and Accredited Supervisor specializing in grief, loss, and bereavement. Ali has over ten years of experience working clinically, supporting individuals and teams across Queensland to care for those experiencing loss. Having worked in oncology, palliative care, family separation, aged care, with children and young people, and with those impacted by traumatic and sudden loss, Ali understands the importance of empathy, compassion, and sensitivity when dealing with difficult situations.
Ali’s experience extends beyond working with individual clients and groups to leading clinical teams, innovating health programs, and developing targeted therapeutic interventions for individuals and groups. She is a proactive leader and clinical supervisor who emphasizes best practices and team well-being.
Ali currently works as a Specialist Grief Practitioner at Grief Australia and in private practice through Grief Guide. Ali has a particular interest in supporting young people navigate grief and loss. However, she hopes to create a space where people of all ages can feel seen, heard, and valued in their experiences.
Grief is a multifaceted emotional response that arises not only from the death of a loved one but also from a range of life changes such as relationship breakdowns, job loss, health challenges, and shifts in identity. It is a profoundly personal experience, and there is no universal or correct way to grieve. Each navigates grief according to their own emotions, circumstances, and coping mechanisms, making it essential to acknowledge the uniqueness of every grief journey.
Contrary to the popular notion of grief progressing through predictable stages, many grief experts argue that this model oversimplifies the emotional complexity of loss. Grief rarely follows a linear path; instead, it unfolds unpredictably, with individuals experiencing a range of emotions at different times. Ali emphasizes that the idea of completing stages to “resolve” grief is misleading, as grief tends to remain a persistent, evolving presence in one’s life.
Resilience in the context of grief is often misunderstood. Rather than implying strength through emotional suppression, resilience involves recognizing and working through painful feelings, employing strategies for emotional expression, and slowly adapting to life after a loss. People grieve in diverse ways, including both emotional (intuitive grieving) and action-oriented (instrumental grieving) expressions, such as journaling, storytelling, physical activity, or organizing belongings. What matters most is that coping methods are healthy and supportive of the individual’s well-being during grieving.
Supporting others through grief requires patience, empathy, and a willingness to accept their way of processing loss. Instead of trying to fix or minimize their pain, it’s more helpful to offer non-judgmental listening and practical support. Within families, grief can manifest in conflicting styles, leading to tension if differences in coping are not respected. Ali highlights the importance of open communication and understanding during such times to maintain support and unity.
Children, too, require thoughtful guidance when grieving. Honest, age-appropriate explanations help them comprehend the reality of loss without confusion. Providing emotional space, maintaining routines, and involving them in remembrance can support a child’s healing process. In some cases, professional help may be necessary to guide children or adults through complicated grief.
Remember that there is no timeline for grief, and it’s okay to seek help when needed. As you learn to live with your losses, you can honor your grief while also finding ways to move forward and find meaning in life after loss.
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